Summer Movie Reviews: Now Unfortunately With 100% More Adam Sandler

Pixels 1.5/5

Well this is a movie.

It has the greatest premise of all time. Its amazing. This could have been Ghostbusters meets Independence Day.

It isn’t funny often. The jokes miss. The visuals are neat and looks great. Visual gags are even good. But the written jokes are dry farts.

Maybe the only good performance is Michelle Monaghan. But thats even stretching it.

Outside of the big action scenes, the movie is crazy disappointing.

I’m going to be curious to see how much money this makes. I keep thinking that all these movies where Adam Sandler just mails it in have to eventually get to the point where no studio wants him anymore, but it just hasn’t happened yet.

Previously:

To come this summer/year:

  • Fantastic Four, August 7
  • Straight Outta Compton, August 14
  • Hitman: Agent 47, August 28
  • Star Wars: The Force Awakens, December 18

Maybe to come this summer/year:

  • Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation, July 31
  • Goosebumps, October 16

Summer Movie Reviews: Now With 100% More Bad Rom-Coms

Trainwreck 2/5

Maybe my expectations were too high. Maybe I just thought I was getting a different movie from all the promo material I saw. Maybe I’m just too dumb to “appreciate the commentary on modern society” which is a thing apparently. But honestly, it just wasn’t that good.

For a movie that has two great funny people in the leads as Amy Schumer and Bill Hader, the laughs weren’t quite hitting. I guess the best way to describe it is that it is a dram-edy with some raunchy humour, occasionally.

The raunchy humour is honestly the best part because it lightens the mood in a movie that isn’t exactly heavy on the tone, but just seems dull so often. It seems that the funny things happen around the actors, versus with the actors. Ezra Miller, Tilda Swinton, John Cena, LeBron James are all terrific. Maybe that is by design?

This movie could very literally be a PG-13 if it weren’t for the use of the f-word. It was honestly pretty by the numbers for large sections. “Oh no, I’m incapable of loving someone. Oh wait no I’m not.” The end.

It does end on a high. The movie does have some sincerely touching moments. But I just expected more. I wanted to come here and rave about the film, but I can’t.

It is easily stolen by two of the guest stars of the film. John Cena is terrific early in the movie. Comedy timing, delivery, body language, all of it. LeBron James is also magnetic on screen and steals the attention from the other actors to him.

It could be a decent date movie, or maybe you’re looking for something to kill the time if you don’t want to go for a blockbuster like Ant-Man or something truly funny and touching in Inside Out.

Previously:

To come this summer/year:

  • Fantastic Four, August 7
  • Straight Outta Compton, August 14
  • Hitman: Agent 47, August 28
  • Star Wars: The Force Awakens, December 18

Maybe to come this summer/year:

  • Pixels, July 24
  • Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation, July 31
  • Goosebumps, October 16

Summer Movie Reviews: Now With 100% More Ants

Ant-Man 3.5/5

Let us get something out of the way. I am a comic book fan boy, and even I had my doubts about Ant-Man. However, this a legitimately good movie.

It won’t light the world on fire, but if we’re ranking single-hero movies (aka not Winter Soldier, Guardians or Avengers), this is the best Marvel flick since Iron Man.

It doesn’t feel like a “big, dumb action CGI” movie as much as it does feel like a heist movie with a ridiculous concept. Some of my favourite movies are heist movies (Oceans 11 & 13 and The Italian Job come to mind, both classic and modern versions). This is a comic book heist movie.

The concept is ridiculous. A man who talks to ants and can shrink to ant size. But it is taken seriously and it is executed well. The shrinking effect looks good and lets you know what is happening on screen. The fighting makes sense.

The villain (Yellow Jacket/Darren Cross) does his job well and it makes for the best mirror villain (ie. Iron Man vs Iron Monger, Cap vs Red Skull) we’ve probably had in a Marvel movie.

The plot is what it is. It moves along, makes you want to see the next scene and provides you with enough reason to go “Yeah, my belief is suspended.”

I also enjoyed the little easter eggs to Ant-Man “lore” and how they may have foreshadowed Giant-Man. The history of Hank Pym makes sense and where they are taking it with concern to the Avengers and Civil War is exciting.

I have nothing bad to say. It isn’t dumb. It builds steam throughout the movie. And it was nice to see a movie that, while there were big repercussions at stake, didn’t feel like the world/galaxy was at stake.

Just go watch it! :)

Previously:

To come this summer/year:

  • Trainwreck, July 17
  • Fantastic Four, August 7
  • Straight Outta Compton, August 14
  • Hitman: Agent 47, August 28
  • Star Wars: The Force Awakens, December 18

Maybe to come this summer/year:

  • Pixels, July 24
  • Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation, July 31
  • Goosebumps, October 16

SUMMER MOVIE REVIEWS: Now With 100% More Time Travel, Teddy Bears and Pixars

Gotta hammer out a few here since I’ve been lazy/on vacation. For the most part these all only need a couple hundred words total.

Terminator: Genisys 2.5/5

If this movie proved anything, it is that Arnold has still got it. The effects look good, old Arny is charming, young Arny looks unbelievably real, and any Arnold moment is just fun and great to watch.

The rest of it is so confusing that I literally could not even. I cannot even with this timeline time travel. I tried thinking about it but have no idea what is happening at all. (RedLetterMedia makes “sense” of it)

I think it is the best Terminator since Judgement Day but that isn’t saying much. I think I just enjoyed Arny more than anything. He’s basically my hero.

Ted 2 3/5

You will know whether you will enjoy this movie before you enter the theatre. As far as comedy sequels go, it does pretty well. It isn’t 22 Jumpstreet or anything, but it isn’t Dumb and Dumber To.

They kind of double down of the joke stuff and get away from the “story” but it has enough crude charm that you get through it fine. You can tell that Seth McFarlane just wants to make a feature length Family Guy as this movie felt more from the Family Guy formula versus Ted.

Oh well, it was worth it.

Inside Out 5/5

This movie is so good. It is honestly one of the best movies of the year and, unless something I don’t know about comes out, will easily be the best animated film you will see this year.

I need to watch more animated films out of Disney, Pixar and Dreamworks. I always have such a good time and enjoy myself.

I don’t know how Pixar does it but they always just kill it with new IP’s. There is so much charm, emotion, fun, sadness, etc. in a film that tells a story that is great for kids but also adults. This movie comes in at a solid second place to Mad Max so far this year.

Previously:

To come this summer/year:

  • Antman, July 17
  • Trainwreck, July 17
  • Fantastic Four, August 7
  • Straight Outta Compton, August 14
  • Hitman: Agent 47, August 28
  • Star Wars: The Force Awakens, December 18

Maybe to come this summer/year:

  • Minions, July 10
  • Pixels, July 24
  • Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation, July 31
  • Goosebumps, October 16

SUMMER MOVIE REVIEWS: NOW WITH 100% MORE DINOSAURS

Jurassic World 4/5

Dinosaurs are cool. /end

The movie is really good. It is a very worthy sequel and its just a whole lot of fun to watch. The movie serves as far more of a sequel to Jurassic Park and kind of ignores 2 and 3, as it should.

I was quite skeptical going in because I expected all sorts of stupid turns (Chris Pratt riding a raptor, Chris Pratt hero-man kills evil dino, Chris Pratt becomes half dino to defeat the evil dino) and none of them happened!

It is a great monster movie. There is suspense, it is thrilling, a little bit scary, strong pacing and lots of people got punked by dinosaurs.

Chris Pratt as the raptor whisperer was not nearly as silly as I thought. It was actually really smart, well done and almost touching.

There were a few scenes that had set ups or payoffs that never quite came back around which makes me figure some bits were cut but it doesn’t really affect the movie as a whole.

Social commentary, eh. Man is not meant to mettle, animals aren’t people, “bio” weapons, etc. Meh. That stuff serves well to make some characters you do not like, and give other characters enough reasons to hate their guts.

It even gets a bit meta with the whole “Dinosaurs aren’t as wow as they used to be so we gotta raise the stakes” like as to say “You’ve all seen Jurassic Park and were like ‘meh’ at dinosaurs in JP2 so now we’re doing mini-Godzilla”.

It would have been awesome to have Jeff Goldblum come back and go “God dammit, guys. What did I tell you!” The only returning character was the Asian geneticist.

Holy crap, that end scene was amazing. BAM! POW! BANG! <3

As I was walking out of the theatre, all I heard was “Wow, that was good!”, “Dinosaurs are cool”, “I really enjoyed that”, etc.

Unless you’re some kind of horrible purist, you’ll like the movie.

Other reviews

Previously:

To come this summer/year:

  • Antman, July 17
  • Fantastic Four, August 7
  • Hitman: Agent 47, August 28
  • Star Wars: The Force Awakens, December 18

Maybe to come this summer/year:

  • Ted 2, June 26
  • Terminator: Genysis, July 1
  • Minions, July 10
  • Pixels, July 24
  • Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation, July 31
  • Goosebumps, October 16