Ranking The Modern DC Movies, The Good 6-1

6. Batman

This movie is just that. A movie. It is called “Batman” but it really is not Batman. It gets a whole lot wrong. Like the Joker just being Jack Napier but extra goofy. Telling the whole proper origin story of the Joker, which is a no-no. One of the greatest parts of the Joker is that you don’t know. You fear and are scared of the unknown. Batman not really trying to save anyone. Killing the Joker. I also can’t buy Michael Keaton as Bruce Wayne. He has glasses, he is not really fit, and he isn’t charismatic. I think he’s there because Tim Burton had a man crush on Keaton before he moved on to man-crushing over Johnny Depp, who probably would have been Batman if this movie was like a few years later.

5. The Dark Knight Rises

This, again, is not really a Batman movie. It has the license to Batman and lots of Batman stuff, but it is not Batman. Mainly because Bane. Bane is a Mexican wrestler crimelord type who takes super steroids to get super jacked and then breaks Batman’s back. The only thing that is Bane in this movie is the back-breaker scene. The character is way more Anarky, who is most recently a scrawny kid that wears a mask and wants Nihilist anarchism. Most of the rest of the movie is fine, but it falls apart when you think about it a bit too much.

4. Watchmen

Put me firmly in the camp of “Enjoyed Watchmen” because I did. Its quite faithful to the comic graphic novel, because this is a little bit too adult for comics, and it has some very visceral and memorable scenes.

3. Batman Returns

This is by the far best of the old timey Batman movies, and it was also the first film that felt like a Batman movie. All the weird non-Batman things from the first film are more or less gone. Its great when Batman has a villain that he can’t just punch a bunch. The Penguin is one of my favourite villains because he’s basically the anti-Batman. He’s rich, but from crime. He owns lotsa stuff, but its all seedy. He is short and chubby and ugly while Bruce Wayne is suave and tall and handsome. It makes such a good dynamic and its just perfectly hit. Plus, Michelle Pfeiffer, holy moly.

2. The Dark Knight

The Joker, yes great. Two-face, yes great. The Batman-ing, yes great. Pretty much all great. I have two gripes though, 1) Lucious sells out Bruce Wayne as Joker when the nerdy guy was just like “You probs know who Batman is!” 2) I’m just bugged by the ending. Batman kills Harvey Dent by tackling him off the building and then instead of saying “Blame the dead cops on the Joker because that would be easy” he says “Blame the dead cops on me so I can disappear for 8 years to set up my return in the third film.” I’m also bothered by the “Jim Gordon is dead. No he isn’t” as I felt it cheapens the other character deaths in the movie in a “Are they really dead?” kind of way.

1. Batman Begins

I feel this is the best Batman movie of the bunch. I really liked the origin, you see Batman beat up street level criminals, there was bat-tech, he uses batarangs, Batman does great Batman style stealth takedowns, Alfred is played perfectly, and its deliciously comic booky with a microwave device (that conveniently doesn’t have an off button) and evil ninjas that want to destroy the city. It also gets better into the moral side of Batman than the other films. The end with “I’m not going to kill you, but I’m not going to save you” is a really big thing for Batman as a character.

Summer Movie Reviews: Now with 100% More Flamethrowing Guitars

Mad Max: Fury Road 5/5

Warning: The following review is rambling because my brain could not handle how great this movie was.

Mad Max: Fury Road was terrific.

It was barely 2 hours long and felt a lot closer to like 75 minutes because it just keeps going and going. Its really immersive and I enjoyed how you learned more about the characters through their actions than them sitting back and telling you about themselves.

Using the character of Mad Max more as a vessel into the world than a protagonist was a nice change and it allows everyone else in the movie to shine.

It is essentially a sick as heck two hour chase scene with practical effects, which are my favourite, and hardcore metal designs. Seeing all the weird monster people with robot bits and mutations and tumors is just so enjoyable because all the actors totally buy in. White Darth Vader Bane was a terrific villain and he serves the story very well.

I really enjoy how many properties in the last few years have begun to embrace their “stupidity” that is at play in their worlds. They go full on with the crazy designs like guitar flamethrowers that cause explosions, but then also have things strangely grounded in reality with things held together by scrap materials.

It keeps improving with each scene outdoing the last. It almost makes you wish for a longer film, but I think it is perfect as it is. Any longer and I think the vividness would lose some of its poignancy. The movie is pedal to the metal from start to finish. It feels like the film is basically in real time.

It quite honestly might be the best action movie I’ve seen… ever? I feel like this is going to be the standard to which I hold all action movies, or maybe even movies in general. Its more than just explosions. Its great story telling with great explosions and stunts.

Other reviews

Previously:

To come this summer/year:

  • San Andreas, May 29
  • Entourage, June 5
  • Jurassic World, June 12
  • Antman, July 17
  • Fantastic Four, August 7
  • Hitman: Agent 47, August 28
  • Star Wars: The Force Awakens, December 18

Maybe to come this summer/year:

  • Ted 2, June 26
  • Terminator: Genysis, July 1
  • Pixels, July 24
  • Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation, July 31
  • Goosebumps, October 16
  • Jen and the Holograms, October 23

Summer Movie Reviews: Now with 100% More Robot Avengers

Avengers: Age Of Ultron 4.5/5

This movie rocked. Spoilers ahead. I don’t know why people were down on it. I read some reviews and they were nitpicking like “Whats the point if we know that they’re all going to assemble again in a few years?” You’re dumb, movie critics.

This is everything you could have possibly wanted in an Avengers movie, and it felt way more like the comic book Avengers than the first film.

The bad:
There were a few little plot strings that bothered me, and it too is nitpicking. Andy Serkis/Claw kind of just disappeared and was there for set up for Civil War and Black Panther. Maybe Dr Cho died, but I thought she didn’t and should have been at the new Avengers Academy at the end so she felt like a real part of the movie. Black Widow/Hulk stuff was fine for the most part, except they’re “Lets run away together and leave everyone else to fight Ultron and save people.”

I would have preferred Ultron to be darker and more evil evil, but he is still a strong villain and we don’t know if he’s actually dead. If you know anything about comics, unless you see a dead body then they aren’t dead. And even if you see a dead body they probably aren’t dead. I have my own theory why he’s alive I’ll share if you ask me to.

I don’t know what it is about Black Widow, but when Joss Whedon is doing the writing/directing I do not enjoy the character. In Cap 2 and Iron Man 2, I quite liked her.

The good:
Basically the entire film. It starts off letting you know exactly what you’re getting. A cool like 2 minute shot of everyone doing their sweet fighting together like the Avengers in the comics/cartoons. Fighting like a team. It was awesome.

Hulkbuster fight. Awesome.

Vision. Awesome. Great comedy as well.

They made Hawkeye interesting! That was so good. And better than that, they gave him a role of his own. He is the “normal guy” on the team.

Linking the two films centered around Loki’s staff and the Mind Stone was a great tidbit for comic nerds that I don’t think non-nerds will quite follow.

We saw heroes saving people. That is huge to making them heroes versus violent fighters.

Ultron’s execution and naivete was spot on. I liked how different his plan was compared to the comics and to other villains. He wasn’t going to destroy the world by shooting it. He wanted to do it by causing a legitimate disaster.

I enjoyed the little plot threads we got to see for Civil War, Ragnarok, and tie-ins to the space alien stuff with Guardians.

The trailer’s do not spoil the whole film. The trailers were basically picked from 2-3 scenes in the first 40 minutes. Also nothing from the end of the movie. Surprise :)

The awesome:
Rotating the cast of the Avengers team gets top marks from me. It keeps things fresh and also keeps the growing the universe. It also allows for them to do more Avengering as Thor and Hulk, in practical terms, limit exactly what the team can do and how often.

Cap, Widow, Falcon, War Machine, Scarlet Witch and Vision make a nice new team with a whole new dynamic.

Plus we know that Iron man, Hawkeye, Thor and Hulk will come back for Infinity War and some of them for Civil War.

Killing Quicksilver and not Hawkeye made me go “Say whaaa!” because it really threw me for a loop. I like that. I guess Quicksilver was really just in there so Marvel could get their hands on Scarlet Witch first.

Other reviews

To come this summer:

  • Mad Max, May 15
  • San Andreas, May 29
  • Entourage, June 5
  • Jurassic World, June 12
  • Antman, July 17
  • Fantastic Four, August 7
  • Hitman: Agent 47, August 28
  • Star Wars: The Force Awakens, December 18

Maybe to come this summer:

  • Ted 2, June 26
  • Terminator: Genysis, July 1
  • Pixels, July 24
  • Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation, July 31
  • Goosebumps, October 16
  • Jen and the Holograms, October 23

Gallery: “This Guy Scored” by the Oilers

Gonna pimp out my actual hockey blog right here: http://www.talkingbaws.com/category/adam-pyde/

With the Oiler’s NHL season officially ending just a few days ago, I decided to go back over the last 2 months for all the #oilerzzz moments and wrap everything up in here. I hope you enjoy and please check out my other hockey writing at the link above!

April 11, 2015 april11april11-2april11-3april11-4 April 9, 2015 april9april9-2 April 7, 2015

April 4, 2015 april4april4-2 April 2, 2015 april2april2-2april2-3april2-4april2-5 April 1, 2015 april1april1-2april1-3 March 30, 2015 march30 March 25, 2015

March 23, 2015 march23 March 21, 2015 march21 march21-2 March 18, 2015 march18 March 13, 2015march13march13-1march13-2march13-3 March 12, 2015 march12march12-1 March 9, 2015 march9-1march9-2 March 8, 2015 march8march8-1 March 3, 2015 march3march3-1 February 28, 2015 feb28 February 20, 2015 feb20 feb20-1 feb20-2 February 18, 2015 feb18 feb18-1 February 16, 2015 feb16 February 14, 2015 sens oil Then it happened again, but against the Oilers!oil sense February 12, 2015 hasb oils February 7, 2015 leafs oil February 2, 2015 tgsSJ1tgssharks2 January 31, 2015 tgsflames2-1tgsflames2-2 This also happened refref2 January 20, 2015 tgscapstgscaps2 January 15, 2015 (thanks again to Jeanshorts) tgsLightning January 13, 2015 (thanks to JSBM Jeanshorts) tgsblues(This did not result in a goal, but like come on!) December 31, 2014 tgsflames tgsflames2 tgsflames3 December 27, 2014 tgs1cal tgs2cal tgs2cal2 December 16, 2014 tgs2TGSphx December 7, 2014 (They actually won this game!) B4Tgki7CQAAQDnj November 21, 2014 (Did not lead to a goal, but still holy crap!) November 19, 2014 Embedded image permalink Embedded image permalink Embedded image permalink November 4, 2014 Embedded image permalink November 1, 2014 B1aYJVeCYAA3gl8 October 15, 2014 Embedded image permalinkEmbedded image permalink October 14, 2014 October 11, 2014 B0MwJXxCMAAHNv0 October 9, 2014 BzjzRbiCYAEyu2R October 2nd, 2014 BzB5Y2ICEAAw9sZ And for lolz, other terrible defence

Ranking The Modern DC Movies, The Bad 12-7

This list is going to be sorta incomplete, because I haven’t seen all the movies and I don’t really have any desire to go and see the missing ones like Constantine, Jonah Hex and Steel . My time is worth more than that. I also don’t feel I’m really qualified to rank the old Superman movies; even though Superman 1978 rules, the others seem… okay?

So we’re starting in 1989 with Batman and going to Man of Steel.

12. Catwoman

I feel I do not really need to explain this. It is an official DC Catwoman movie, but there is no Selina Kyle, Gotham, no Bruce Wayne, no Batman, no anything that is really Catwoman. It’s like… gosh I don’t even have an analogy. Do I have to keep going? It is not even redeemable over time trying to look at it from a new perspective. Just… zip.

11. Green Lantern

A guy like Channing Tatum or Chris Pine could have made this better. Or if they went with John Stewart Green Lantern. Hal Jordan is moderately interesting, to me, and I do not find Ryan Reynolds to be a good actor. He’s basically just Van Wilder. The CGI suit and the plot both sucked. Blake Lively… :/ There are moments, but they are few.

10. Man of Steel

Honestly, I think this movie sucks as bad as Green Lantern, but in totally different ways. The suit is fine, the actors are good, but I made this series of tweets a little while ago.

Now, a good movie director would be able to turn this into a really interesting second movie (Supes trying to correct his wrongs and save people) but we kinda know already that they aren’t going this way in the second film because they are having him fight Batman.

9. Superman Returns

I’m totally indifferent to this film. It isn’t bad bad. It isn’t good. It’s just totally meh. That may be the worst thing you can say about a film. It was so meh I almost forgot to include it on this list despite owning the DVD. I like Brandon Routh. I thought he did a fine job, but basically everything else was… meh.

8. Batman and Robin

Having this so high on the list is probably shocking to people considering a lot of people have this film barely being beaten out on the bad scale by Catwoman, but I kinda… like it? In a so bad it is good way.

It just ruins characters (Bane, Freeze, Ivy, the Bat family). The director apologized. Clooney just didn’t care.

I can totally see why it was panned at the time. It sucks. But if this film was on at the same time as any of the others here, I’d be watching it first. Almost solely for Arnie who, while screwing up Freeze, is having such a blast with bad one-liners.

7. Batman Forever

This movie is really fun, and it really isn’t too bad. There is something about these old movies being so campy that seems to make them better over time. It’s nice to see all the actors hamming it up and having a blast in their roles, unlike Batman and Robin where only Arnie seems happy. It is enjoyable to watch so I like it.

Stay tuned for my ranking of the top 6 films!