2016 Summer of Movies: Tigers and Panthers and Bears are COOL

Jungle Book 4.5/5

If you were gonna tell me a few months ago that a movie that features a child actor for most of the movie would be good and I would be happy with it, then I would slap you.

But hey, this kid (Neel Sethi) kills it. I didn’t cringe. This is the complete opposite end of the spectrum of child acting than you’re used to. This isn’t The Phantom Menace.

The movie kills it. The voice talent kills it. The direction kills it. The cinematography kills it.

Idris Elba as Shere Kahn is great (note: I like to think of him as the Shao Kahn of this movie because he is and I like Mortal Kombat) and is the voice star of the film. Christopher Walken tones back his Christopher Walken-ness as King Louie. Bill Murray is charmingly lazy as Baloo.

It’s visually impressive. There is so much detail I couldn’t tell at times that I’m looking at a CG wolf or bear or forest.

The action is cool. Tigers and bears and monkeys and panthers and wolves all doing their thing, but I don’t think it ever gets legitimately violent any point. This is still a Disney movie for all ages.

Its also refreshing and familiar in the way that there are a lot of visuals from the comics, a couple musical numbers and the general story is the same as the animated film, but it swerves a little bit in a few places so that it is still new.

There were girls crying in the theater at some point so I guess their feels got punched a little bit too.

There are a pair of scenes that don’t quite hit their mark but that is me being nit-picky. I’m not convinced that 3D adds anything spectacular to the viewing experience either, but it sure doesn’t hurt.

Kids will love it. Adults who want to have childish fun will love it. Hippies who want all the existential blah blah social commentary blah blah whatever will love it.

What did you think?

Previously:

To Come:

  • Keanu (April 29)
  • Captain America: Civil War (May 6)
  • Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out Of The Shadows (June 3)
  • Popstar: Never Stop Singing (June 3)
  • Warcraft (June 10)
  • Independence Day: Resurgence (June 24)
  • The Secret Life of Pets (July 8)
  • Star Trek Beyond (July 15)
  • Jason Bourne (July 29)
  • Suicide Squad (August 5)
  • Sausage Party (August 12)

Maybe’s of the Summer

  • Money Master (May 13)
  • Neighbours 2 (May 20)
  • The Nice Guys (May 20)
  • Now You See Me 2 (June 10)
  • The Legend of Tarzan (July 1)
  • Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates (July 8)
  • Ghostbusters (July 15)

2016 Summer-ish of Movies: Hey Look How Cool Batman Is Right?

Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice 3/5

So… your mileage may vary. There is a lot to digest here and its probably a 5,000 word essay or two hour discussion. It basically boils down to this: Like in comic books where writers take their own spins on characters, Zack Snyder has done that here.

This isn’t your childhood Superman. This isn’t the Batman you’ve come to know. There is merit to the characters and there decision making, but how its done is… inconsistent. The pacing is off, but when stuff happens it is cool. Its kinda dumb when you think about it too much, but whatever I guess.

Honestly, there is three movies here. Man of Steel 2, an Iron Man 2-ish Batman and Superman movie, then the getting the gang together for the Justice League.

I’m mostly disappointed because there is a great Superman movie in here that mainly revolves around a question that is asked. “Should there be a Superman?” That is a great concept and should be its own movie, unfortunately it gets back burnered because Batman and Justice League needs to release soon.

There is just so much Zack Snyder all over the film. There is probably a real good two hour movie in here, but at two-and-a-half hours it really drags at points. The saturation, the laughable musical cues, the “edginess”, the editing. I’m not trying to be a hater. I can live with that stuff, but he really needs a good producer or editor or extra screenwriter to help reel him in.

To some, it is a 4/5. To others a 1/5. I look at this like a better version of the Fantastic Four from last summer. You can see the moments where the movie is/could be great, but it just misses the mark a few too many times.

What did you think?

To Come:
– Keanu (April 29)
– Captain America: Civil War (May 6)
– Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out Of The Shadows (June 3)
– Popstar: Never Stop Singing (June 3)
– Warcraft (June 10)
– Independence Day: Resurgence (June 24)
– The Secret Life of Pets (July 8)
– Star Trek Beyond (July 15)
– Jason Bourne (July 29)
– Suicide Squad (August 5)
– Sausage Party (August 12)

Maybe’s of the Summer
– Money Master (May 13)
– Neighbours 2 (May 20)
– The Nice Guys (May 20)
– Now You See Me 2 (June 10)
– The Legend of Tarzan (July 1)
– Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates (July 8)
– Ghostbusters (July 15)

2016 Movie Catch Up: Lazer Team, Thadland, Deadpool, Egypt, and Henry

Lazer Team 3/5

It is what it is so your mileage may vary. It’s campy and the acting isn’t terrific, it isn’t bad mind you, but its nothing special. The jokes hit and miss but its a streaming movie worth 90 minutes for some silly sci-fi, by the numbers stuff. Alexandra DeBerry is gorgeous.

Blue Mountain State: Rise of Thadland 3.5/5

It is everything you would expect if you were a fan of the show. If you haven’t seen the show, then think American Pie with some football sprinkled in there. It’s ridiculous, excessive, dumb, hilarious, fun and plain easy to watch. Netflix it right away if you’re into that kind of thing. Its like one of the party episodes of the show cranked up to 10. It’s nice to see all the characters you enjoyed come back together. Similar to the Entourage movie in that sense but way better. Lindsey Sporrer is gorgeous.

Deadpool 4.5/5

It is absurd at points and that is why it works. I was so worried for this movie because I find Deadpool so hit and miss in the comics. I’m glad that the fourth wall breaking was merely himself and other characters weren’t like “Derp, who you talking to?” Everything is taken serious enough that it isn’t a farce, but it swerves against what you have come to expect in superhero movies and then plays it straight other times. I think I’m most please that they made a bunch of “dumb” jokes without it devolving into some fart poop humour style movie. It’s just so different. Morena Baccarin is gorgeous.

Gods of Egypt 1.5/5

Is it stupid? Yes. Does it suck? Yes. Does it suck in a good way? Yes. Why? Because its a dumb PS2 game from like 2004. The CG quality comes and goes, but whatever. If you want a dumb movie to enjoy because its dumb then watch it. Only issue is 3D giving you a headache if you don’t have prime seats. But its long gone from theaters so Netflix it. Courtney Eaton is gorgeous.

Hardcore Henry 3/5

Another film where your mileage may vary. I’m into the goofy dumb action style, if you haven’t noticed, and this does it in a new way. There is a twist at the end. The story is there to get you from action scene to action scene. Seeing action scenes and sequences from first person is new and exciting. Wasn’t a huge fan of CG blood squibs as they are a bit jarring in a movie with so many practical effects, but oh well. Haley Bennett is gorgeous.

To Come:
– Keanu (April 29)
– Captain America: Civil War (May 6)
– Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out Of The Shadows (June 3)
– Popstar: Never Stop Singing (June 3)
– Warcraft (June 10)
– Independence Day: Resurgence (June 24)
– The Secret Life of Pets (July 8)
– Star Trek Beyond (July 15)
– Jason Bourne (July 29)
– Suicide Squad (August 5)
– Sausage Party (August 12)

Maybe’s of the Summer
– Money Master (May 13)
– Neighbours 2 (May 20)
– The Nice Guys (May 20)
– Now You See Me 2 (June 10)
– The Legend of Tarzan (July 1)
– Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates (July 8)
– Ghostbusters (July 15)

Summer Movie Reviews: Now With 100% More Terrible August Movies

Shaun The Sheep 4/5

This was a lot of fun. Its definitely aimed for kids but can be enjoyed by all ages. There isn’t one line of dialogue in the film but you know exactly what is happening at all times. Great music and sound effects. Its funny and charming and good. Sheep do good!

Hitman: Agent 47 1.5/5

More like Shitman.

This movie personifies why video game movies are bad. Because the person making the film has no idea what makes the game itself good. They just think “Video games means explosions and nonsense action and ridiculous fights” where it doesn’t always mean that.

Hitman is a game about strategy and being methodical. It’s like Jason Bourne when he’s doing his infiltrating and not fighting. This movie is a CGI turd.

American Ultra 2/5

It wasn’t that it was terrible. Just that it wasn’t good. It has nothing to do with “being an original idea” or whatever whiny excuse you have, because it isn’t original.

Its just lame. The tone is weird and the way some characters are written don’t make a lick of sense at times. Some movies get away with that because there is enough charisma and charm to make up for it. This doesn’t have that.

We Are Your Friends 2/5

Emily Ratajkowski is gorgeous.

As for the movie, it is Entourage but not as charming or good or interesting.

Group of friends want to become each their own part of a touring DJ thing. Stage manager, booking manager, DJ, etc. and then they meet a girl as they go around performing.

I got the feeling this was written a few years ago when EDM was really trending up and they were just late to getting this out. It probably would have done better then.

Transporter: Re-fueled 1.5/5

Any movie that has the sub-title of “Re-” anything is terrible. Reloaded, refueled, revenge, retribution, recharged, etc. Terrible.

It isn’t even a dumb action movie you can enjoy for being dumb. Its just another film with noise and crap flying everywhere and poor pacing.

Never thought I’d find myself saying “Gee I sure miss Jason Statham!”

Previously:

To come this summer/year for shizzle:

  • James Bond: Spectre, November 6
  • The Peanuts Movie, November 6
  • Star Wars: The Force Awakens, December 18

Summer Movie Reviews: Now With 100% More NWA

Straight Outta Compton 5/5

I was so fascinated by the story going on. I was passingly aware of the story beforehand, I had never sat down and read up on it or anything, but to see it fleshed out was enthralling.

Its a great history lesson. Even if you aren’t a fan of the music, there is no reason you should not be a fan of the film and the way it has presented what times were like.

The movie goes from documentary to bio-pic and back. What I mean by that is you see a lot of gritty, serious reality of the time period and then you might get a scene that feels more like a movie.

I’m really not comfortable saying anything in the movie is really dramatized. From we know about police conduct at the time to how rappers party to how they all went their own way felt very genuine.

The performances are all terrific. It focuses on Ice Cube, Eazy E and Dr. Dre, and all three leads are phenomenal. They each have a terrific scene at the start of the film introducing you to their situation and it sets the tone so well. The best performance to me came from Ice Cube’s son playing Ice Cube. From the little things like mannerisms to the impressive range he showed despite never having acted in a movie before is astounding.

There are some great cameos towards the second half of the movie where you get a bit of a glimpse into the rappers from the early 90’s that also came to prominence.

It is paced very well and there is some terrific humour to help break up the movie at times when its dealing with some real serious subject matter. I can’t recommend the movie enough.

Previously:

To come this summer/year:

  • Hitman: Agent 47, August 21
  • Pan, October 9
  • Goosebumps, October 16
  • James Bond: Spectre, November 6
  • The Peanuts Movie, November 6
  •  The Martian, November 27
  • Star Wars: The Force Awakens, December 18
  • Before We Go, September 4 (or something?)