Suicide Squad? More Like Yeah That Was Enjoyable Squad

Suicide Squad 3.7/5

This movie isn’t bad. It sure kicks the balls off of Man of Steel and Batman v Superman: Dawn of AIDs. Its the best DC Extended Universe movie we’ve seen yet.

I enjoyed the movie. Your mileage may vary on whether this is a 2.5 or a 4.5 but its not bad. It takes Xmen: Apocalypse behind the shed and sends it the way of Lassie. It slaps Amazing Spiderman 2 like it is owed money.

This movie is well, well better than trash like Independence Day: Resurgence and Legend of Tarzan. Its at least on par with both Thor films.

Lets start with The Good:

  • The characters feel like real characters. They also feel like bad guys. Because they’ve done bad stuff and aren’t just good guys who done gone a wrong once.
  • I have seen a lot of people be mad that this group of terrible, horrible, not good, very bad people would include men who sexually ogle Harley Quinn in her fishnets and booty shorts, and make passes at other women loosely. As well as crack wise with snips of racism tossed in there. Yeah, I’m stunned a bunch of criminals aren’t morally righteous like a real Superman or Captain America.
  • Those scenes are a few of the times that our scumbag criminals feel like scumbag criminals. I actually really liked the scenes where the scumbags felt like scumbags. It made them feel like real characters.
  • All your squad members, except one, have backstory and varying levels of arc so they aren’t terrible, boring, flat characters like in Ghostbusters. Every character is good.
  • This movie has roughly 8ish or more characters that it needs to establish. It does a damn good job of doing so.
  • It takes the world it lives in seriously. I love that. They aren’t like “Derp magic witch wut thats dumb omg its real wtf so cray”. There is no “I’m Ant-Man :(. I know my name is lame.” They’re just like “Yup, that sword steals the spirits of whoever it kills. And yeah thats a 6000+ year old witch. And this guy is basically son of Satan.”
  • It plays the stuff straight. Its great universe building. Little stuff is explained so well and there are some cool ass camera shots. Plus little touches here and there (like the Joker’s goons) that are delightful to see.
  • I thought Harley Quinn was going to be unbearable and ditzy, but she’s just cooky enough that the zingers and one liners work. It would have been easy for them to go to the Nth degree with “crazy girl” and they didn’t.
  • Will Smith is living charisma as Deadshot. I also thought they might one-note him as the cocky, hired gun. But he’s dope.
  • I really enjoyed Jared Leto’s Joker being an entirely different Joker than we’ve seen yet. Being the biggest, baddest mob boss is fitting and the character pulls from the more androgynous and expressive/animated comic portrayals.

Now onto The Meh:

  • This could have been so much better with an R rating. It didn’t need a ton of F bombs or boobs to make it better, but the violence is strangely glorified and also muted. Letting them go whole hamhock on it would have been delightful in a Kingsman sort of way. When you have R rated villains as your protagonist, let them be R.
  • The plot may have been a teeny bit generic, but it serves as a good backdrop to get the characters through the dealio.
  • Another blue laser into the sky… but the blue laser did something for once. But still, blue laser into the sky.
  • I wasn’t too crazy about parts of the final fight scene. Power usage and strength levels kind of did a Mortal Kombat where powers and who can beat up who got a little muggy. It kind of made bits of the ending a thinky-face emoji.
  • I would have liked a Joker scene that I could instantly put into conversation with Mark Hamill and Heath Ledger. You didn’t quite get that but I still really liked it. The Joker was a supporting character in this movie and is treated as such. Its a bit unusual, but it works.
  • I generally liked the villain, but a bit less CGI would have helped. There were times that things looked a little awkward or too clean and that takes you out of it.
  • The soundtrack was fine and fun, but then it didn’t keep up. Like after having music playing for like the first 60% of the movie in and out, it just goes away at the end. You gotta commit to that or tone it way down at the start.

And finally, The Bad:

  • F*ck that post credits scene. That scene did more to establish Bruce Wayne as the go-getter for the Justice League than like the 20 minutes that BvS wasted to do the same thing. So it was good, but like bad too. It was so good it made a part of another movie bad.
  • I don’t like Amanda Waller. There is a scene where I just basically quit on the character.
  • Mook villains is as mook villains does. They didn’t quite make sense in terms of their abilities and how they fought.
  • I understand people’s qualms about pacing and editing. There was some stuff that was a bit disjointed, but it was fine enough all together. I’m really curious as to what David Ayer’s original edit was. It never felt as bad as Fantastic Four, but there were a few times it was a little sandpapery.
  • Probably could have done without some characters getting up to like three or four intro scenes. But they spent the money to shoot them so they gotta be in it I guess.
  • I hate random slow-mo in fight scenes. I hate how every DC movie needs to have that because Zack Snyder is/was the head honcho of the entire thing. There are a couple shots during the big fight at the end that didn’t need to be slow-mo or had to be held onto as long as they were.

Overall: Its a good comic book movie. Gonna let you in on a secret. I watch all comic book movies once with bros/on a date. Then my mom asks if she would enjoy it. If yes, I get to go again with my mom. If I say no, then we don’t. I’m batting 100% on this so far.

But with this one, I don’t know. I think she may enjoy it, I can see why she wouldn’t and will settle for me explaining the entire thing to her over dinner.

This one is 50-50. A coin toss. I liked it. I don’t know why its reviewing so poorly. I listed a bunch of movies that were well worse above in my opinion.

If you’re one of the people who reads my reviews and is like “ur dumb and wat is wrong wit moviez now and ppl like u r ruining cinema” then hump and stump and go see Star Trek (or some insufferable indie flick about how no one really understands life, man) instead.

I think its good.

Previously:

To Come (at some point):

  • Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out Of The Shadows
  • Batman: The Killing Joke
  • Sausage Party (August 12)

 

Advertisements

2016 Summer-ish of Movies: Hey Look How Cool Batman Is Right?

Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice 3/5

So… your mileage may vary. There is a lot to digest here and its probably a 5,000 word essay or two hour discussion. It basically boils down to this: Like in comic books where writers take their own spins on characters, Zack Snyder has done that here.

This isn’t your childhood Superman. This isn’t the Batman you’ve come to know. There is merit to the characters and there decision making, but how its done is… inconsistent. The pacing is off, but when stuff happens it is cool. Its kinda dumb when you think about it too much, but whatever I guess.

Honestly, there is three movies here. Man of Steel 2, an Iron Man 2-ish Batman and Superman movie, then the getting the gang together for the Justice League.

I’m mostly disappointed because there is a great Superman movie in here that mainly revolves around a question that is asked. “Should there be a Superman?” That is a great concept and should be its own movie, unfortunately it gets back burnered because Batman and Justice League needs to release soon.

There is just so much Zack Snyder all over the film. There is probably a real good two hour movie in here, but at two-and-a-half hours it really drags at points. The saturation, the laughable musical cues, the “edginess”, the editing. I’m not trying to be a hater. I can live with that stuff, but he really needs a good producer or editor or extra screenwriter to help reel him in.

To some, it is a 4/5. To others a 1/5. I look at this like a better version of the Fantastic Four from last summer. You can see the moments where the movie is/could be great, but it just misses the mark a few too many times.

What did you think?

To Come:
– Keanu (April 29)
– Captain America: Civil War (May 6)
– Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out Of The Shadows (June 3)
– Popstar: Never Stop Singing (June 3)
– Warcraft (June 10)
– Independence Day: Resurgence (June 24)
– The Secret Life of Pets (July 8)
– Star Trek Beyond (July 15)
– Jason Bourne (July 29)
– Suicide Squad (August 5)
– Sausage Party (August 12)

Maybe’s of the Summer
– Money Master (May 13)
– Neighbours 2 (May 20)
– The Nice Guys (May 20)
– Now You See Me 2 (June 10)
– The Legend of Tarzan (July 1)
– Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates (July 8)
– Ghostbusters (July 15)

2016 Movie Catch Up: Lazer Team, Thadland, Deadpool, Egypt, and Henry

Lazer Team 3/5

It is what it is so your mileage may vary. It’s campy and the acting isn’t terrific, it isn’t bad mind you, but its nothing special. The jokes hit and miss but its a streaming movie worth 90 minutes for some silly sci-fi, by the numbers stuff. Alexandra DeBerry is gorgeous.

Blue Mountain State: Rise of Thadland 3.5/5

It is everything you would expect if you were a fan of the show. If you haven’t seen the show, then think American Pie with some football sprinkled in there. It’s ridiculous, excessive, dumb, hilarious, fun and plain easy to watch. Netflix it right away if you’re into that kind of thing. Its like one of the party episodes of the show cranked up to 10. It’s nice to see all the characters you enjoyed come back together. Similar to the Entourage movie in that sense but way better. Lindsey Sporrer is gorgeous.

Deadpool 4.5/5

It is absurd at points and that is why it works. I was so worried for this movie because I find Deadpool so hit and miss in the comics. I’m glad that the fourth wall breaking was merely himself and other characters weren’t like “Derp, who you talking to?” Everything is taken serious enough that it isn’t a farce, but it swerves against what you have come to expect in superhero movies and then plays it straight other times. I think I’m most please that they made a bunch of “dumb” jokes without it devolving into some fart poop humour style movie. It’s just so different. Morena Baccarin is gorgeous.

Gods of Egypt 1.5/5

Is it stupid? Yes. Does it suck? Yes. Does it suck in a good way? Yes. Why? Because its a dumb PS2 game from like 2004. The CG quality comes and goes, but whatever. If you want a dumb movie to enjoy because its dumb then watch it. Only issue is 3D giving you a headache if you don’t have prime seats. But its long gone from theaters so Netflix it. Courtney Eaton is gorgeous.

Hardcore Henry 3/5

Another film where your mileage may vary. I’m into the goofy dumb action style, if you haven’t noticed, and this does it in a new way. There is a twist at the end. The story is there to get you from action scene to action scene. Seeing action scenes and sequences from first person is new and exciting. Wasn’t a huge fan of CG blood squibs as they are a bit jarring in a movie with so many practical effects, but oh well. Haley Bennett is gorgeous.

To Come:
– Keanu (April 29)
– Captain America: Civil War (May 6)
– Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out Of The Shadows (June 3)
– Popstar: Never Stop Singing (June 3)
– Warcraft (June 10)
– Independence Day: Resurgence (June 24)
– The Secret Life of Pets (July 8)
– Star Trek Beyond (July 15)
– Jason Bourne (July 29)
– Suicide Squad (August 5)
– Sausage Party (August 12)

Maybe’s of the Summer
– Money Master (May 13)
– Neighbours 2 (May 20)
– The Nice Guys (May 20)
– Now You See Me 2 (June 10)
– The Legend of Tarzan (July 1)
– Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates (July 8)
– Ghostbusters (July 15)

Ranking The Modern DC Movies, The Bad 12-7

This list is going to be sorta incomplete, because I haven’t seen all the movies and I don’t really have any desire to go and see the missing ones like Constantine, Jonah Hex and Steel . My time is worth more than that. I also don’t feel I’m really qualified to rank the old Superman movies; even though Superman 1978 rules, the others seem… okay?

So we’re starting in 1989 with Batman and going to Man of Steel.

12. Catwoman

I feel I do not really need to explain this. It is an official DC Catwoman movie, but there is no Selina Kyle, Gotham, no Bruce Wayne, no Batman, no anything that is really Catwoman. It’s like… gosh I don’t even have an analogy. Do I have to keep going? It is not even redeemable over time trying to look at it from a new perspective. Just… zip.

11. Green Lantern

A guy like Channing Tatum or Chris Pine could have made this better. Or if they went with John Stewart Green Lantern. Hal Jordan is moderately interesting, to me, and I do not find Ryan Reynolds to be a good actor. He’s basically just Van Wilder. The CGI suit and the plot both sucked. Blake Lively… :/ There are moments, but they are few.

10. Man of Steel

Honestly, I think this movie sucks as bad as Green Lantern, but in totally different ways. The suit is fine, the actors are good, but I made this series of tweets a little while ago.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Now, a good movie director would be able to turn this into a really interesting second movie (Supes trying to correct his wrongs and save people) but we kinda know already that they aren’t going this way in the second film because they are having him fight Batman.

9. Superman Returns

I’m totally indifferent to this film. It isn’t bad bad. It isn’t good. It’s just totally meh. That may be the worst thing you can say about a film. It was so meh I almost forgot to include it on this list despite owning the DVD. I like Brandon Routh. I thought he did a fine job, but basically everything else was… meh.

8. Batman and Robin

Having this so high on the list is probably shocking to people considering a lot of people have this film barely being beaten out on the bad scale by Catwoman, but I kinda… like it? In a so bad it is good way.

It just ruins characters (Bane, Freeze, Ivy, the Bat family). The director apologized. Clooney just didn’t care.

I can totally see why it was panned at the time. It sucks. But if this film was on at the same time as any of the others here, I’d be watching it first. Almost solely for Arnie who, while screwing up Freeze, is having such a blast with bad one-liners.

7. Batman Forever

This movie is really fun, and it really isn’t too bad. There is something about these old movies being so campy that seems to make them better over time. It’s nice to see all the actors hamming it up and having a blast in their roles, unlike Batman and Robin where only Arnie seems happy. It is enjoyable to watch so I like it.

Stay tuned for my ranking of the top 6 films!