Suicide Squad? More Like Yeah That Was Enjoyable Squad

Suicide Squad 3.7/5

This movie isn’t bad. It sure kicks the balls off of Man of Steel and Batman v Superman: Dawn of AIDs. Its the best DC Extended Universe movie we’ve seen yet.

I enjoyed the movie. Your mileage may vary on whether this is a 2.5 or a 4.5 but its not bad. It takes Xmen: Apocalypse behind the shed and sends it the way of Lassie. It slaps Amazing Spiderman 2 like it is owed money.

This movie is well, well better than trash like Independence Day: Resurgence and Legend of Tarzan. Its at least on par with both Thor films.

Lets start with The Good:

  • The characters feel like real characters. They also feel like bad guys. Because they’ve done bad stuff and aren’t just good guys who done gone a wrong once.
  • I have seen a lot of people be mad that this group of terrible, horrible, not good, very bad people would include men who sexually ogle Harley Quinn in her fishnets and booty shorts, and make passes at other women loosely. As well as crack wise with snips of racism tossed in there. Yeah, I’m stunned a bunch of criminals aren’t morally righteous like a real Superman or Captain America.
  • Those scenes are a few of the times that our scumbag criminals feel like scumbag criminals. I actually really liked the scenes where the scumbags felt like scumbags. It made them feel like real characters.
  • All your squad members, except one, have backstory and varying levels of arc so they aren’t terrible, boring, flat characters like in Ghostbusters. Every character is good.
  • This movie has roughly 8ish or more characters that it needs to establish. It does a damn good job of doing so.
  • It takes the world it lives in seriously. I love that. They aren’t like “Derp magic witch wut thats dumb omg its real wtf so cray”. There is no “I’m Ant-Man :(. I know my name is lame.” They’re just like “Yup, that sword steals the spirits of whoever it kills. And yeah thats a 6000+ year old witch. And this guy is basically son of Satan.”
  • It plays the stuff straight. Its great universe building. Little stuff is explained so well and there are some cool ass camera shots. Plus little touches here and there (like the Joker’s goons) that are delightful to see.
  • I thought Harley Quinn was going to be unbearable and ditzy, but she’s just cooky enough that the zingers and one liners work. It would have been easy for them to go to the Nth degree with “crazy girl” and they didn’t.
  • Will Smith is living charisma as Deadshot. I also thought they might one-note him as the cocky, hired gun. But he’s dope.
  • I really enjoyed Jared Leto’s Joker being an entirely different Joker than we’ve seen yet. Being the biggest, baddest mob boss is fitting and the character pulls from the more androgynous and expressive/animated comic portrayals.

Now onto The Meh:

  • This could have been so much better with an R rating. It didn’t need a ton of F bombs or boobs to make it better, but the violence is strangely glorified and also muted. Letting them go whole hamhock on it would have been delightful in a Kingsman sort of way. When you have R rated villains as your protagonist, let them be R.
  • The plot may have been a teeny bit generic, but it serves as a good backdrop to get the characters through the dealio.
  • Another blue laser into the sky… but the blue laser did something for once. But still, blue laser into the sky.
  • I wasn’t too crazy about parts of the final fight scene. Power usage and strength levels kind of did a Mortal Kombat where powers and who can beat up who got a little muggy. It kind of made bits of the ending a thinky-face emoji.
  • I would have liked a Joker scene that I could instantly put into conversation with Mark Hamill and Heath Ledger. You didn’t quite get that but I still really liked it. The Joker was a supporting character in this movie and is treated as such. Its a bit unusual, but it works.
  • I generally liked the villain, but a bit less CGI would have helped. There were times that things looked a little awkward or too clean and that takes you out of it.
  • The soundtrack was fine and fun, but then it didn’t keep up. Like after having music playing for like the first 60% of the movie in and out, it just goes away at the end. You gotta commit to that or tone it way down at the start.

And finally, The Bad:

  • F*ck that post credits scene. That scene did more to establish Bruce Wayne as the go-getter for the Justice League than like the 20 minutes that BvS wasted to do the same thing. So it was good, but like bad too. It was so good it made a part of another movie bad.
  • I don’t like Amanda Waller. There is a scene where I just basically quit on the character.
  • Mook villains is as mook villains does. They didn’t quite make sense in terms of their abilities and how they fought.
  • I understand people’s qualms about pacing and editing. There was some stuff that was a bit disjointed, but it was fine enough all together. I’m really curious as to what David Ayer’s original edit was. It never felt as bad as Fantastic Four, but there were a few times it was a little sandpapery.
  • Probably could have done without some characters getting up to like three or four intro scenes. But they spent the money to shoot them so they gotta be in it I guess.
  • I hate random slow-mo in fight scenes. I hate how every DC movie needs to have that because Zack Snyder is/was the head honcho of the entire thing. There are a couple shots during the big fight at the end that didn’t need to be slow-mo or had to be held onto as long as they were.

Overall: Its a good comic book movie. Gonna let you in on a secret. I watch all comic book movies once with bros/on a date. Then my mom asks if she would enjoy it. If yes, I get to go again with my mom. If I say no, then we don’t. I’m batting 100% on this so far.

But with this one, I don’t know. I think she may enjoy it, I can see why she wouldn’t and will settle for me explaining the entire thing to her over dinner.

This one is 50-50. A coin toss. I liked it. I don’t know why its reviewing so poorly. I listed a bunch of movies that were well worse above in my opinion.

If you’re one of the people who reads my reviews and is like “ur dumb and wat is wrong wit moviez now and ppl like u r ruining cinema” then hump and stump and go see Star Trek (or some insufferable indie flick about how no one really understands life, man) instead.

I think its good.

Previously:

To Come (at some point):

  • Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out Of The Shadows
  • Batman: The Killing Joke
  • Sausage Party (August 12)

 

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2016 Summer-ish of Movies: Hey Look How Cool Batman Is Right?

Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice 3/5

So… your mileage may vary. There is a lot to digest here and its probably a 5,000 word essay or two hour discussion. It basically boils down to this: Like in comic books where writers take their own spins on characters, Zack Snyder has done that here.

This isn’t your childhood Superman. This isn’t the Batman you’ve come to know. There is merit to the characters and there decision making, but how its done is… inconsistent. The pacing is off, but when stuff happens it is cool. Its kinda dumb when you think about it too much, but whatever I guess.

Honestly, there is three movies here. Man of Steel 2, an Iron Man 2-ish Batman and Superman movie, then the getting the gang together for the Justice League.

I’m mostly disappointed because there is a great Superman movie in here that mainly revolves around a question that is asked. “Should there be a Superman?” That is a great concept and should be its own movie, unfortunately it gets back burnered because Batman and Justice League needs to release soon.

There is just so much Zack Snyder all over the film. There is probably a real good two hour movie in here, but at two-and-a-half hours it really drags at points. The saturation, the laughable musical cues, the “edginess”, the editing. I’m not trying to be a hater. I can live with that stuff, but he really needs a good producer or editor or extra screenwriter to help reel him in.

To some, it is a 4/5. To others a 1/5. I look at this like a better version of the Fantastic Four from last summer. You can see the moments where the movie is/could be great, but it just misses the mark a few too many times.

What did you think?

To Come:
– Keanu (April 29)
– Captain America: Civil War (May 6)
– Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out Of The Shadows (June 3)
– Popstar: Never Stop Singing (June 3)
– Warcraft (June 10)
– Independence Day: Resurgence (June 24)
– The Secret Life of Pets (July 8)
– Star Trek Beyond (July 15)
– Jason Bourne (July 29)
– Suicide Squad (August 5)
– Sausage Party (August 12)

Maybe’s of the Summer
– Money Master (May 13)
– Neighbours 2 (May 20)
– The Nice Guys (May 20)
– Now You See Me 2 (June 10)
– The Legend of Tarzan (July 1)
– Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates (July 8)
– Ghostbusters (July 15)

Ranking The Modern DC Movies, The Good 6-1

6. Batman

This movie is just that. A movie. It is called “Batman” but it really is not Batman. It gets a whole lot wrong. Like the Joker just being Jack Napier but extra goofy. Telling the whole proper origin story of the Joker, which is a no-no. One of the greatest parts of the Joker is that you don’t know. You fear and are scared of the unknown. Batman not really trying to save anyone. Killing the Joker. I also can’t buy Michael Keaton as Bruce Wayne. He has glasses, he is not really fit, and he isn’t charismatic. I think he’s there because Tim Burton had a man crush on Keaton before he moved on to man-crushing over Johnny Depp, who probably would have been Batman if this movie was like a few years later.

5. The Dark Knight Rises

This, again, is not really a Batman movie. It has the license to Batman and lots of Batman stuff, but it is not Batman. Mainly because Bane. Bane is a Mexican wrestler crimelord type who takes super steroids to get super jacked and then breaks Batman’s back. The only thing that is Bane in this movie is the back-breaker scene. The character is way more Anarky, who is most recently a scrawny kid that wears a mask and wants Nihilist anarchism. Most of the rest of the movie is fine, but it falls apart when you think about it a bit too much.

4. Watchmen

Put me firmly in the camp of “Enjoyed Watchmen” because I did. Its quite faithful to the comic graphic novel, because this is a little bit too adult for comics, and it has some very visceral and memorable scenes.

3. Batman Returns

This is by the far best of the old timey Batman movies, and it was also the first film that felt like a Batman movie. All the weird non-Batman things from the first film are more or less gone. Its great when Batman has a villain that he can’t just punch a bunch. The Penguin is one of my favourite villains because he’s basically the anti-Batman. He’s rich, but from crime. He owns lotsa stuff, but its all seedy. He is short and chubby and ugly while Bruce Wayne is suave and tall and handsome. It makes such a good dynamic and its just perfectly hit. Plus, Michelle Pfeiffer, holy moly.

2. The Dark Knight

The Joker, yes great. Two-face, yes great. The Batman-ing, yes great. Pretty much all great. I have two gripes though, 1) Lucious sells out Bruce Wayne as Joker when the nerdy guy was just like “You probs know who Batman is!” 2) I’m just bugged by the ending. Batman kills Harvey Dent by tackling him off the building and then instead of saying “Blame the dead cops on the Joker because that would be easy” he says “Blame the dead cops on me so I can disappear for 8 years to set up my return in the third film.” I’m also bothered by the “Jim Gordon is dead. No he isn’t” as I felt it cheapens the other character deaths in the movie in a “Are they really dead?” kind of way.

1. Batman Begins

I feel this is the best Batman movie of the bunch. I really liked the origin, you see Batman beat up street level criminals, there was bat-tech, he uses batarangs, Batman does great Batman style stealth takedowns, Alfred is played perfectly, and its deliciously comic booky with a microwave device (that conveniently doesn’t have an off button) and evil ninjas that want to destroy the city. It also gets better into the moral side of Batman than the other films. The end with “I’m not going to kill you, but I’m not going to save you” is a really big thing for Batman as a character.

Ranking The Modern DC Movies, The Bad 12-7

This list is going to be sorta incomplete, because I haven’t seen all the movies and I don’t really have any desire to go and see the missing ones like Constantine, Jonah Hex and Steel . My time is worth more than that. I also don’t feel I’m really qualified to rank the old Superman movies; even though Superman 1978 rules, the others seem… okay?

So we’re starting in 1989 with Batman and going to Man of Steel.

12. Catwoman

I feel I do not really need to explain this. It is an official DC Catwoman movie, but there is no Selina Kyle, Gotham, no Bruce Wayne, no Batman, no anything that is really Catwoman. It’s like… gosh I don’t even have an analogy. Do I have to keep going? It is not even redeemable over time trying to look at it from a new perspective. Just… zip.

11. Green Lantern

A guy like Channing Tatum or Chris Pine could have made this better. Or if they went with John Stewart Green Lantern. Hal Jordan is moderately interesting, to me, and I do not find Ryan Reynolds to be a good actor. He’s basically just Van Wilder. The CGI suit and the plot both sucked. Blake Lively… :/ There are moments, but they are few.

10. Man of Steel

Honestly, I think this movie sucks as bad as Green Lantern, but in totally different ways. The suit is fine, the actors are good, but I made this series of tweets a little while ago.

Now, a good movie director would be able to turn this into a really interesting second movie (Supes trying to correct his wrongs and save people) but we kinda know already that they aren’t going this way in the second film because they are having him fight Batman.

9. Superman Returns

I’m totally indifferent to this film. It isn’t bad bad. It isn’t good. It’s just totally meh. That may be the worst thing you can say about a film. It was so meh I almost forgot to include it on this list despite owning the DVD. I like Brandon Routh. I thought he did a fine job, but basically everything else was… meh.

8. Batman and Robin

Having this so high on the list is probably shocking to people considering a lot of people have this film barely being beaten out on the bad scale by Catwoman, but I kinda… like it? In a so bad it is good way.

It just ruins characters (Bane, Freeze, Ivy, the Bat family). The director apologized. Clooney just didn’t care.

I can totally see why it was panned at the time. It sucks. But if this film was on at the same time as any of the others here, I’d be watching it first. Almost solely for Arnie who, while screwing up Freeze, is having such a blast with bad one-liners.

7. Batman Forever

This movie is really fun, and it really isn’t too bad. There is something about these old movies being so campy that seems to make them better over time. It’s nice to see all the actors hamming it up and having a blast in their roles, unlike Batman and Robin where only Arnie seems happy. It is enjoyable to watch so I like it.

Stay tuned for my ranking of the top 6 films!

Marvel and DC Upcoming Movies – Thoughts And Stuff

marveldc

So between right now and 2020 there are a billion movies scheduled to come out based on Marvel and DC properties.

I decided to do some brain thinking and drop a few thoughts on each movie listed for release.

August 7, 2015 – Fantastic Four

I want them to pull it off. There is a lot of really cool stuff that can be done if they do. Dr. Doom is the greatest villain in Marvel comics.

If it fails again, I can see Fox defaulting it back to Marvel which is what I want so I can get that much closer to one of those comic posters with every character on them but in a movie. But I want it to be successful, and I think it needs to be. Quality of comic book movies is important so that the bubble doesn’t burst and oversaturation isn’t an issue.

February 12, 2016 – Deadpool

I hope people expect this movie to be what it is. I think a lot of people aren’t properly familiar with Deadpool and might expect something else. They need to carefully walk the appropriate line between breaking the 4th wall, humour and shocking violence so that they’ll have something.

March 25, 2016 – Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice

I’ve pulled a 180 on this movie. I didn’t have too much faith a year ago, but the trailer has me excited. I feel like I have a much better idea of the tone and direction and I’m on board. Now, whether the film hits all the right notes is another story. But DC seems totally committed to their universe, that’s good.

May 6, 2016 – Captain America: Civil War

I’m not a huge fan of the Civil War in the comics. But from what I can piece together at the end of Ant-Man and then filled with my own fan theory, I might actually dig this.

I also can’t wait to see all the heroes and heroines on screen. Maybe not together, maybe not all at once, but just existing and crossing paths. Iron Man, Captain America, Bucky Barnes, Black Widow, Falcon, Vision, Hawkeye, Scarlet Witch, Hulk, Red-Hulk, Spiderman, Black Panther, War Machine, Ant-Man, Scarlet Witch, Crossbones, Baron Zemo, etc. etc.

Sploosh.

One thing I am curious about, is how the movie is going to explain normal people like Hawkeye, Widow, Falcon, and even Ant-Man, War Machine and Iron Man into “registering” considering they are just highly skilled people with suits.

 

May 27, 2016 – X-Men: Apocalypse

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