7 Tinder Tips For Girls – By A Guy

tinder

Most of you ladies are awful at Tinder. Just awful. You’re embarrassments. The app is Hot or Not. The goal is to be hot. What is so difficult to understand?

Tip 1. Three or more pictures. You’re telling me you don’t have more than two pictures in which you look presentable? Besides, I already know by picture two whether I’m tapping the heart, but I like treating my eyes to pretty girls as long as possible.

Tip 2. Don’t waste picture space or my time on your kids, car, pets, snowmobile, monuments, nails etc. I don’t care. I really don’t. At least include yourself. I still won’t care then though.

Tip 3. Do not upload pics of you with your hotter friends. Especially in slot one or two.  You could totally be a yes but I get my hopes up for hot friend and not you, even if you’d normally be a yes. You’re only hurting yourself.

Tip 4. Have a blurb. I don’t care about your Instagram. But it gives me something to start the conversation with because I’m smart and witty.

Tip 5. Don’t be the “lol this app is so dumb and hilars” girl or the “lol i hav a boyf” girl. You’re an attention whore. Part of me enjoys your insecurity because you’re probably really easy, but another part of me is put off by it. I am on the fence here.

Tip 6. Be interesting when messaged. You liked me for a reason. I like me too, and I decided to like you. But I have other matches I can be busy with. Don’t waste my time.

Tip 7. You have four pictures of you and the same friends so I don’t know who you are? “Girl bye”

So get better.

How Hath The World Blighted Adam: March 20th

rageface

I am so angry!

People suck. Drivers in Edmonton suck. Everything sucks this morning.

I’m sick with a cold.

I tried making tea but I don’t know what I’m doing and it just tastes like leaves and dirt and water which is pretty awful. Apparently I didn’t “maximize my steep.”

My favourite breakfast bars were all gone this morning. Was left with banana.

Also

DEAR EDMONTON

We have 6 months a year for you morons to learn how to drive in winter. It got warm for TWO WEEKS and all you idiots forgot what you’re doing.

You’re all stupid. Goodbye.

How hath the world blighted Adam is a feature I’m gonna do whenever I get pissed off.

Canada Announces Olympic Hockey Roster. Reaction and Analysis

After some hilarious dubstep, and some dry, drawn out speaches, at 11 AM EST today Steve Yzerman and Hockey Canada announced the 25 individuals who will make up Team Canada for the 2014 Sochi Olympic games. The team is comprised of 14 forwards, 8 defenceman, and 3 goalies, even though only 22 players can be dressed for a game. These 25 men will be tasked with trying to repeat as Olympic gold winners for the first time since NHL players have been allowed participation into the Winter Olympics.

Quick analysis? Among the men selected for this monumental task, there are are not that many surprises. There are a lot of fresh faces on the team with just under half never having appeared at the Olympics. The roster does not seem to be as “over thought” to the degree many were fearing. This is good, but there were some strange selections.

Continue reading here.

Canada set to announce Olympic Team. Who will be picked?

Canada

If you thought there was a bunch of a hubbub after USA Hockey announced their roster for the 2014 Olympics, you ain’t seen nothing yet.

Tuesday morning at 10:30am EST, General Manager Steve Yzerman will unveil the final 25-man Canadian squad. Half the squad is obvious no-brainers (Sidney Crosby), a quarter is guys of “almost locks” (P.K. Subban), and the last quarter is bubble players (Logan Couture).

Those bubble players will be the ones that have the potential to ignite a civil war north of the 49th parallel. It has already been widely debated who should fill out the roster. Do you go for existing chemistry from their NHL teams like Chris Kunitz and Crosby or Duncan Keith and Brent Seabrook? Do you just take the best available players and hope chemistry figures itself out? Or do you look for “roles” that are “unfilled” and look to “fill” them with remaining players? Will Yzerman show loyalty to the players he selected for the 2010 team that don’t necessarily deserve a spot in 2014?

… Continue reading at TalkingBaws.com