08.02.16
by

I Hate Sony Films: Ghostbusters 2016

Ghostbusters 2016 2/5

If you like The Big Bang Theory then you might really enjoy this movie. I happen to hate that show because it has no jokes and isn’t funny.

I’m going to get to the good right away:

  • Leslie Jones was the worst part of the trailers, but by far the best and only character that felt like a human. She stole the show in my opinion.
  • The scene where they were trying out their new tech in an alley was fine.
  • A few jokes here and there.
  • It looked pretty with all the colours. Would make for great viewing in Washington and Colorado.

The bad:

  • The other three leads are… not bad but just uninteresting. They aren’t even characters. They all have like 2 characteristics and goof around, almost like caricatures of “science people”. Not one feels like a real scientist. There wasn’t any sense of these shlubs coming together and overcoming the odds. They just kinda do it. (There could have been a really cool True Lies angle to the movie, that I thought was gonna happen when they were complaining about the Fake TV Ghost Paranormals Reality Show Hunters giving ghost-busting peeps a bad name. Ends up with the FTVGPRSHs getting embarassed on national TV because they can’t stop the ghost problem and then our heros save the day. [… I just wrote a better movie in this paragraph :/ ]).
  • I don’t know if I should blame the bad plot and character decisions on screenplay or lack of direction, because it was probably both. The movie feels like a series of loosely related skits.
  • Big dumb ending. All of a sudden its an action movie that actually looks like a big dumb video game with action rolls and gun blasty-blast. There wasn’t much tension.
  • Chris Hemsworth.
  • I feel there is a sort of symbolism to the big fight at the end being them blasting the original Ghostbusts logo into ghost bits.

The really bad:

  • They don’t catch any ghosts! They catch one! And they let it go because Kate McKinnon has to prove to Bill Murray she isn’t crazy, she’s just wildly incompetent. They just whip a ton of ghosts into like barrels and dumpsters and stuff.
  • They bust one ghost and they’re like world famous or something. IDK. I guess because cell phones and the Instagrams and Snapchats. You never even saw them like on Good Morning America or anything. Larry King didn’t talk about them. They weren’t on Fox news or the Daily Show.
  • Product placement turning the movie into a commercial.
  • Post credits scene.

Closing thoughts: I really hate Sony’s film division. They are so desperate for a hit that they greenlight something like this, and all the Adam Sandler movies, and they wanted that big dumb awful Spider-Man Cinematic Universe. This was the most Adam Sandler movie I’ve seen without Adam Sandler in it. Big name that will draw marketing attention and has a built in fan base? Check. Lazy script and characters? Check. Somehow gets talented people involved to do nothing with their talent? Check. Crams an absurd amount of product placement into the movie to the point that it basically features commercials? Check.

I’m stuck on if this is more disappointing and a bigger waste of talent than Pixels.

There are movies that have done reboots/soft resets/whatever they’re called well. Star Trek’s most recent first and third entries. The Force Awakens is excellent. Dredd was top tier. This just goes into the pile of other 80’s movies they’ve redone into piles of junk the last decade.

Bad movie. Bad time. 2/5 would not see again.

Previously:

To Come (at some point):

  • Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out Of The Shadows (June 3)
  • Star Trek Beyond (July 22)
  • Jason Bourne (July 29)
  • Suicide Squad (August 5)
  • Sausage Party (August 12)