Ass Ass Ins Creed: Kinda Ass, and Why Video Game Movies Are Bad

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Before the review, I wanted to let my followers here in on an update. I’m probably moving my work more permanently over to https://creators.co/@AdamPyde

I got recruited to the site and they offered to pay me.

Nothing is really changing, I’m just moving platforms.

Secondly, thanks. Because of everyone that is here and followed me to help promote my posts so they showed up in the algorithm and I’ve gotten this chance.

I really appreciate the people that have bothered to click follow on a random guy in northern Canada’s quickly written and poorly edited movie ramblings.

I’ll post here still, but largely just an anecdote and hyper-link to the Creators platform, where I hope you come follow me.

Assassin’s Creed: I don’t know/5

I don’t even know if I liked this movie. It started off choppy, slow and kinda boring. Got quite good, especially right before the climax, but then ended anticlimactically. A real sequel fisher of an ending.

The more I think of it, the more I’m not surprised that this comes to us from Fox as I can just feel bits of X-Men: Apocalypse and Fantastic Four in the way its put together.

I haven’t paid close attention to the Assassin’s Creed games since the end of Ezio’s time. I own AC3, its in the plastic. I own AC4, its part of my un-downloaded library on Steam.

But I was still a really big fan of the games. Annual releases drained me a bit, and I’ve kinda tuned out of video games in general outside of a few titles. But something that really put me off keeping Assassin’s Creed in my circle of attention was that they stopped having focus on the present day storyline and Desmond. I liked the past, but I liked how it tied to the present just as much. I liked the end goal it presented.

If the reason they started to pare that away from the games was so that it could all go into the movie I just watched, well… maybe it wasn’t such a bad thing. It hits at parts, but it definitely misses too.

Continue reading on Creators.co

2016 Summer Of Movies: X-Men: Apoca-bloops

X-Men: Apocalypse 3.25/5

The Good: There really is like 80% of a kickass, great movie here. More or less right up until the final whammo the movie is just killing it.

James McAvoy and Michael Fassbender steal the show. Duh. They’re great actors. Fassbender especially makes a lot of the movie his. One day a dedicated fan will make some kind of Magneto solo movie super-cut from all the films and that’ll be a sight to see.

I actually liked how Apocalypse played it really straight and there wasn’t all this nuance to him. I can understand why people may want to see the villain be more Riddler or Loki, but sometimes it works better to play it straight. And its straight in more of a Ras Al Ghul direction than a Ronan The Accuser way.

Quicksilver is radical. The visualization of his super speed is terrific.

I enjoyed the second act. A lot. Although the tone is considerably different than most of the film which may put some people off.

Storm is actually cool. Give me more of Storm and less of Mystique.

The whole new generation of mutants is cool and really reminds me of the 2000-03 cartoon. Cyclops is cool enough because he isn’t opposite Wolverine. New Jean Grey has some potential. Nightcrawler is an awkward, three fingered, blue, teleporting, German demon and its delightful. If they bring to life some more of those teenage characters from that cartoon I’ll be really happy.

The final fight where mutants square off is actually pretty well done. There is set ups from early in the film that pay off.

I really enjoyed the prologue except for one really blatantly absurd thing which I’ll note in a spoiler tag below.

There was a lot of little in universe stuff that only dorks are gonna pick up on. *raises hand*

The Bad: There were scenes where I felt like I was watching a Star Wars prequel because it was like 90% CG used to make the shot. Now, this may seem strange coming from a guy who loves to watch Iron Man and Spider-Man go through the sky, but it looked so fake here in a way that was jarring. I’m not a huge 3D fan and I think that the glasses make CG easier to spot.

Jennifer Lawrence is blah. They gave her a big role because she is a star, but I just have never been able to get into her acting. It seems so phony to me. Mystique works better when she’s being selfish, not trying to be Aragorn/Luke Skywalker.

For apparently the strongest and most bad-ass mutant ever, Apocalypse sure gets punked. He has powers he never uses properly. He can vapourize humans, but with mutants he’d rather just minorly inconvenience them.

The final confrontation was fine, but I think for non-comics people it is a bit of “Wut?” that might miss the mark. There is a lot going on. Some of it good, some of it bad.

Psylocke :/

At one point in the film I took my 3D glasses off and just stared at the wall to let my eyes rest. I really am not a fan of 3D unless I’m literally in the perfect seat.

Final thoughts: It isn’t a great film or an all time classic, but it is good. It has its hits and misses, so your mileage of enjoyment may vary if you’re a stickler. It sets things off in a nice direction for the new team.

As far as super hero ensembles go this year, its solidly in the two slot and I don’t see myself souring on this film like I have Bats v Supes.

It had the potential to crack a dinger out of the park, but settled for a ground rule double.

Highlight to see following spoiler: HOW DID THEY JUST LET MAGNETO GO AT THE END? HE LITERALLY WAS RESPONSIBLE FOR THE DEATH OF MILLIONS! HE DESTROYS LIKE THREE CITIES NO PROBLEMO AND THEN AT THE END HIM AND CHARLES BASICALLY FIST BUMP AND SAY “UNTIL NEXT TIME HOMIE. MUCH LOVE”. Angel didn’t really murder anyone, Psylocke might have killed one person, Storm just stole a basket and like an apple. But Magneto goes full super murderer.

Hit me with your thoughts. Did you super dig it or was it more like a-POO-calypse of the franchise?

Previously:

To Come:

  • Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out Of The Shadows (June 3)
  • Popstar: Never Stop Singing (June 3)
  • Warcraft (June 10)
  • Independence Day: Resurgence (June 24)
  • The Secret Life of Pets (July 8)
  • Star Trek Beyond (July 15)
  • Jason Bourne (July 29)
  • Suicide Squad (August 5)
  • Sausage Party (August 12)