TMNT2: Out Of The Shadows and Into The Cheese

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out Of The Shadows 3/5

It starred the Turtles. They did fun stuff. Gags and one liners. Some heist scenes. They’re decent characters in their own right. Megan Fox, Stephen Amell and will Arnett all get enough screen time to put a smile on your face.

It wasn’t revolutionary film making. The plot wasn’t amazing. But if you grew up a TMNT fan then this is more likely to appeal to you and put a smile on your face than the previous TMNT film.

It is a lot more fantastical and goofy. It embraces that side versus trying to make ninja crime fighting teenage turtles all serious and gritty.

I love the inverse law of ninjas, where “one ninja is an elite and powerful adversary, but multiple ninjas make a group of faceless and incompetent pawns?” The foot clan are as hilariously inept as they were in the cartoon. Shredder is there too, with a way better costume. Bebop and Rocksteady were a lot of fun and Krang was fun too.

I’ve really grown to like the turtle designs. And every time I see Raph I can see Alan Ritchson’s handsome face in there somehow.

It’s hard to call it a “good” movie. There is nothing worthy of an Oscar. Nothing ground breaking.

But it was fun. It was cheesy and fun and unapologetic in being cheesy and fun.

I caught it on a plane so if you’re flying and need to kill under two hours, go for it. If you have kids or were a TMNT fan growing up then its worth a stream on VOD or Netflix.

Lazer TeamBlue Mountain State: Rise of ThadlandDeadpoolGods of EgyptBatman v Superman: Dawn of JusticeHardcore HenryJungle BookCaptain America: Civil WarX-Men: ApocalypseMike And Dave Need Wedding DatesGhostbusters, The Legend of TarzanWarcraftPopstar: Never Stop Never Stoppin’Star Trek: BeyondJason Bourne, Suicide SquadLights OutSausage PartyDon’t BreatheKeanuCentral IntelligenceBatman: The Killing Joke

To Come (at some point):
Hell Or Highwater, XOXO (Netflix), Flock of Dudes (September), The Masterpiece (TBA 2016), The Accountant (October), Jack Reacher: Never Go Back (October), Doctor Strange (November), Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (December), Assassins Creed (December)


Top 5 Totally Fine-Whatever Movies of 2014

These are my “See them if you want I guess. You probably won’t hate yourself and might even enjoy yourself” movies of 2014.

HM. Intersellar 
– I didn’t know where else to put this, but it was the worst-best movie of the year. Its good, but it never quite reaches that level of “HOLY MOLY!” that I they were definitely targeting and I really feel it suffers from that. Its 2 hours of science mumbo jumbo that is interesting even as it wanes, then like an hour of Star Trek. Also, 3 hours long basically. What happened to good old 2 hour run times? Still good, but just not great and I wanted great.

5. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 
– Scores here because its more bad movie then good movie. Could easily be on the bad list but… Ninja Turtles man! Like yeah, Michelangelo is a creep but Raphael is a badass. You can tell it was chock full of reshoots. There is too much Megan Fox but… Ninja Turtles man! There’s just enough of the spirit in there.

4. Robocop 
– As far as 2014-ing a movie goes, I thought they did a really good job. You can’t have a guy get shot to shit no more or you get an R rating and end up like Dredd – great movie, but no one saw it because of the R rating. It wasn’t great, but it was good. If you want to watch a neat robo-CGI action movie go grab this instead of Transformers.

3. Hercules 
– This is the perfect The Rock movie. If you want to watch like 90 minutes of The Rock being jacked and fighting with a club(!) against other dudes, you can’t go wrong. Interesting twist on Greek mythology too. Great bro movie. Great popcorn movie. Kinda forgettable but thats just what it is.

2. Live.Die.Repeat (Edge of Tomorrow) 
– It’s actually really good and Emily Blunt does well. Its a good movie. Strong action. Strong story. Interesting. I’m serious. But… Tom Cruise. I have issues with Tom Cruise, same I have with DiCaprio and Depp, that I don’t see the character, I just see the actor playing dress up or doing an accent.

1. The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies 
– This is the single most “meh” movie I’ve ever seen. I only went because I saw the last two. The Hobbit movies are to the Lord of the Rings movies as kissing a blow-up doll is to kissing the love of your life. Martin Freeman is good and the book elements are good. The fan fiction of the series drives me nuts. I’m excited for the fan edit of all 3 movies thats like 3.5 hours and really good.

Summer Movie Reviews: Now with 400% More Turtles

– Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2/5

Well, it wasn’t bad. Not like bad “I hate my life. Why did I see this?” bad. It wasn’t great, not really good either. It was acceptable, but cheesier than a 99 cheese pizza.

I got sweet 3D glasses that look like Raph’s mask. I groaned less than I did during Transformers.

By the numbers story. Its the whole villain has the McGuffin gas and is going to infect the city plot. Its not exactly ambitious.

The turtles themselves were handled/designed relatively well. Instead of just 4 clones with different colours they were actually pretty distinct. Didn’t mind the noses. I liked the focus on Raphael because he’s totally the coolest and the best. Continue reading