#ThisGuyScored 2021 #HereComeTheOilers

Why not revive an old classic? Check back after every game for updates.

@Adam_Pyde on Twitter, Adam Reviews Things on Facebook. CanadianAdam on Twitch.

March 3, 2021 – Zach Hyman, Ilya Mikheyev 1-6 L

March 1, 2021 – Zach Hyman 0-3 L

February 27, 2021 – Zach Hyman 0-4 L

Connor…

February 15, 2021 – Kyle Connor, Nik Ehlers 5-6 L

February 8, 2021 – Adam Larsson (Evgenii Dadonov) 3-1 W

February 6, 2021 – Milan Lucic, Johnny Gaudreau, Sam Bennett 4-6 L

January 31, 2021 – Colin White, 8-5 W

January 30, 2021 – Zack Hyman, 4-3 W

January 28, 2021 – Jason Spezza, Willim Nylander 3-4 L

January 26, 2021 – Mathieu Perrault, Nik Ehlers, Paul Stastny, Adam Lowry 3-5 L

January 24, 2021 – Adam Lowry, Nikolaij Ehlers, 4-3 W

January 22, 2021 – Jimmy Vesey, John Tavares, 2-4 L

Draisaitl wur r u doin!

January 16, 2021 – Jeff Petry, Jake Evans, Tomas Tatar. 1-5 L

January 13, 2021 – Bo Horvat, Brock Boeser. 3-5 L

The original from 2015 is HERE. I did half a season in 2017 found HERE.

The Room: When an Alien in Human Skin Makes a Movie

Image result for the room

The Room is the greatest mess in cinematic history. It is the Citizen Kane of bad movies. It is the answer to the question of what would happen if something went so far below a zero that it somehow became a 10.

Its awful. It makes no sense. Characters existing is the extent of their existence. It has character moments, arcs and plot that are dropped in the same scene they’re introduced. It is edited at random. In the language of cinema, nothing in The Room works.

This movie is unwatchably watchable. If you were to sit down and try to watch take this seriously, it would feel like you’re “being stabbed in the head.” But sitting down to watch this as a delusional vanity project gone awry and it becomes one of the best 90 minutes you’ll get out of a film.

Tommy Wiseau is the center of the film on screen, as really good guy Johnny, and off screen as well. This man directed, wrote, adapted, produced, starred in and funded the entire $6,000,000 film. Yes, this movie costs $6,000,000.

This entire film is a series of things just happening. Its almost more of a mockumentary around a guy and his life than it is a proper dramatic film.

This is the cinematic equivalent of giving any random person a budget and a script and a camera and a crew. It should make you appreciate how “good” even a regular bad movie is.

Image result for the room

Tommy cannot enunciate. Tommy cannot dress himself. He’s an alien in human skin.

The Room is what the result would be if an alien species studied late 90’s soap opera TV, had a computer program amalgamate a script and then was performed by the aliens in human skin like the first Men In Black movie.

It’s not difficult to find secondhand embarrassment for the actress portraying Johnny’s “future wife” Lisa. She’s given an awkward wardrobe, absurd “motivation” and has 4 or 5 sex scenes. The sex scenes are uncomfortable. They last the entire length of the bad and cheesy love songs. Johnny pounds away at her belly button, has a zombie orgasm and then shows the entire world his butt. Why? Because its “Hollywood”, I guess.

Time passes in the film without any establishment of time passing. Characters talk about meeting up tomorrow and are in the next scene. No establishing shots, no passage of time shot, no CHANGE OF OUTFITS! They just happen.

Set design is bizarre. Like a showroom apartment from a 2003 Ikea. There are candles and photographs of spoons everywhere.

The logic of the film is bizarre. The game of football is just awkwardly hot potato-ing a ball around. Marijuana is considered an aggressive “fly off the handle” drug. Attempted murder is quickly forgiven. Stumbling into a garbage can sends you to the hospital.

The dialogue of the movie is completely bizarre, which probably is why the characters are so completely bizarre with actions that are completely bizarre.

  • Claudette becomes the voice of the people at one point, literally saying “What are these characters doing here?”
  • Tommy Johnny responds to the story of a woman being hospitalized by the beating of a jealous ex-lover with “Ha ha ha what a story, Mark!”
  • Characters will bring up something in conversation and then say “I don’t want to talk about it” after them bringing it up.
  • Adultery is committed and forgiven immediately, but then unforgiven about 12 seconds later in the same scene.

Does any of this sound like it was written by a human?

  • “I did not hit her. I did not. Oh hi Mark.”
  • “Anyway how’s your sex life?”
  • “Anything for my princess ha ha ha!”
  • “Its not over everybody betray me I fed up with this world!”
  • “If a lot of people love each other the world would be a better place to live.”
  • “Cheep Cheep Cheep Cheep Cheep.”

The best performance in this entire movie comes from the least trained actor on set. Drug dealer Chris R, played by former Olympic bobsledder Dan Janjigian, is excellent. He’s legitimately intimidating and terrifying. There is more conviction in his lines than the rest of the entire film. But even a performance that good is still undermined by The Room as people just appear in the scene like its Looney Tunes while shouting awkward lines. Somehow the violent, giant, gun weilding Chris R is subdued awkwardly by Johnny and his best friend Mark while Lisa yell cries about drugs at a whimpering Denny, Johnny’s pseudo son.

There’s a sad truth in film though. While its a mess, its clearly written from some place of truth or experience in Tommy Wiseau’s heart. There’s something of a biopic going on here, where nice guy Johnny gets manipulated, lied to and taken advantage of by the people close to him. A lot of the dialogue sounds like something from a bitter ex-lover.

Almost the entire male cast is portrayed as sexual vultures. Lisa is a petulant whore. Mark wants to, and does, bang Lisa. Denny wants to bang Lisa. Peter talks about how great Lisa is. Some no-name at the party has one line in the movie and it is “Lisa is so hot” while making a horny face.

Writing this may have been cathartic and even necessary for Tommy, but then turning this play into a film became an ego stroke. Some characters exist only to show that Tommy Johnny is a great guy.

Note: Due to Johnny clearly being a proxy for Tommy, I left in all the places I wrote Tommy.

One of these characters is Mike (pictured) aka Me Underpants Guy, who needs a private place to fool around with his girlfriend. So of course great guy Johnny allows them to use his couch whenever they want.

One of the nonsense characters is Denny, the orphan who was too old to adopt so Tommy Johnny just pays for his entire life as a pseudo father. All he does is be sexually creepy and weird, but Johnny loves him anyway because Johnny is so great.

One of these characters is Claudette, the future mother in law, who essentially repeats how Johnny is rich, nice, caring and an amazing man that all women would love to have.

One of these characters is the Flower Shop Owner, who exists to tell Tommy Johnny how he’s a great customer and great boyfriend.

Most of the characters essentially exist to say “Johnny, you are so great. You’re the best person” in a variety of ways.

Even Mark, the antagonist of the film and Johnny’s “best friend” who is banging Johnny’s “future wife” which frays and destroys the relationships in the plot of movie, will regularly talk about how great of a dude Johnny, his best friend, is. He will say this two seconds after putting his shirt on after having awkward staircase coitus with Lisa.

In years since, Tommy Wiseau has said he was making a dark comedy or a satire of a drama. Absolute crap. He went for a serious American drama and failed so miserably he made a comedy of errors so great he crafted one of the greatest comedy films of all time. The film grossed $1800 in its theatrical release. Marketing of the movie was a billboard in LA, that stayed up for 5 years, and Tommy Wiseau throwing pamphlets at people prior to the films premiere.

Image result for the room billboard

The film is a complete mess. It takes itself seriously. It wants to hit heavy but is undermined in wild swings of tone. Random thrown in scenes interrupt any pacing you may find. Its a movie that doesn’t know what a movie is. Writing, dialogue, acting, screenplay, editing is atrocious.

The movie climaxes in a suicide after Tommy humps Lisa’s clothing following a lackadaisical condo trashing after Tommy shove fights Mark and tells Lisa she’s a bitch. That literally all happens inside 10 minutes.

It was written as a stage play and could not get distribution as a book. Logically when you encounter those obstacles you turn it into a self financed film. The production crew was replaced twice during filming.

So how did this movie become a big deal? Well, The Room was played on loop for April Fools 2009 by Adult Swim. That was the movie’s big break. Beyond that it had a small cult following in LA among film industry people.

How did I find this movie? I wanted to watch Room, the Brie Larson film that won an Academy Award. I didn’t think twice when I saw a theatrical showing of The Room, so I mosied on down to the historic Garneau Theatre. Imagine my surprise when I got this film, complete with fans throwing plastic spoons and singing along to the love songs. My brain couldn’t compute. It was one of the worst movies I’ve ever seen. And it was great. Everyone should see this movie once. Twice if you’re feeling cute.

@Adam_Pyde on Twitter, Adam Reviews Things on Facebook. CanadianAdam on Twitch.

#ThisGuyScored: Edmonton Oilers 2017 Edition

Death, taxes and the Oilers leaving guys wide open to score. If it wasn’t for the Hall trade I might not be able to run this blog again! Content back to old Jultz levels.

October conclusion: Adam Larsson is not Marc-Eduard Vlasic despite the narrative.

November conclusion: It’s also probably best if you ignore how often McDavid or Eberle aren’t within a mile of their man who scores.

 

December 9 vs Wild
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December 8 vs Flyers
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December 6 vs Sabres
dec6-2

Note: While this one isn’t egregious at first glance, it made the cut essentially because Lucic (27) had good position on Gionta (12) but stopped skating for no real reason, allowing Gionta to score on an otherwise pretty well defended entry. Lucic has good position at the dot, but stops moving with Gionta and opts for a lazy stick wave over the body position he had a stride before. I notice it a lot doing these posts that they are quite harmless plays as they develop and then out of nowhere one of two things happen.

1) A forward will leave his check expecting the d-man to take over, but they don’t and you get a guy alone in tight for a redirect, tap in or one timer. Maybe the forward is thinking “There isn’t a play here. I can let the guy go, and the D & G can handle this” which is kinda how they’re taught since most teams play zone defence and not man-to-man, but the release is frequently coming too early or isn’t communicated/read at all by the defenceman/goalie.
2) The Oilers will have good coverage and inexplicably a player will leave his zone/man to give a 2on1 defensively, but its almost always the wrong guy supporting ie) the guy covering the slot or back door (primary defensive forward – F1) with no one else to take over. When the offensive player sees this and makes a good pass, the defender (F1, sometimes its D2) going to help is quite often in no-mans-land defensively during the scoring assist. This leaves a lot of guys open in dangerous areas on what were harmless, well positioned defensively plays. (Its often F1 on the play supporting extra [generally good] while F2 or F3 are in no position to cover for F1 [really bad]).

I do try to be a little fair when I do this like generally not using PP goals or goals off strange bounces/bad rebounds, but there are a good number of plays I find myself saying “Why wasn’t he covered? They had good position two seconds ago.” The team just seems to be so puck focused.

December 4 vs Wild
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December 3 vs Ducks
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December 1 vs Jets
dec1-1

November 29 vs Leafsnov29-1nov29-2nov29-3nov29-4

November 27 vs Coyotes
nov27-2

November 23 vs Avalanche
nov23-2

November 17 vs Kings
nov17-2nov17-4

November 15 vs Ducks
nov15-1nov15-3

November 13 vs Rangers
nov13-2

November 11 vs Stars
nov11-3

November 8 vs Penguins
nov8-2nov8-3

November 6 vs Red Wings
nov6-1

November 3 vs Rangers
nov3-2nov3-3nov3-4

November 1 vs Leafs
nov1-1nov1-2

October 30 vs Senators
oct30-1

October 20 vs Blues
oct20-1

October 18 vs Hurricanes
oct18-1

October 16 vs Sabres
oct16-1

From beyond center ice for Ryan O. (Vine by @Buccigross) https://t.co/xdOAt8DtEP

— Rickard Bergquist (@sportblogg) October 17, 2016

oct16-2

October 12 vs Flames
oct12-1oct12-2oct12-3

“This Guy Scored” by the Oilers

@Adam_Pyde on Twitter, Adam Reviews Things on Facebook. CanadianAdam on Twitch.

With the Oiler’s NHL season officially ending just a few days ago, I decided to go back over the last 2 months for all the #oilerzzz moments and wrap everything up in here. I hope you enjoy and please check out my other hockey writing at the link above!

April 11, 2015 april11april11-2april11-3april11-4 April 9, 2015 april9april9-2 April 7, 2015

April 4, 2015 april4april4-2 April 2, 2015 april2april2-2april2-3april2-4april2-5 April 1, 2015 april1april1-2april1-3 March 30, 2015 march30 March 25, 2015

March 23, 2015 march23 March 21, 2015 march21 march21-2 March 18, 2015 march18 March 13, 2015march13march13-1march13-2march13-3 March 12, 2015 march12march12-1 March 9, 2015 march9-1march9-2 March 8, 2015 march8march8-1 March 3, 2015 march3march3-1 February 28, 2015 feb28 February 20, 2015 feb20 feb20-1 feb20-2 February 18, 2015 feb18 feb18-1 February 16, 2015 feb16 February 14, 2015 sens oil Then it happened again, but against the Oilers!oil sense February 12, 2015 hasb oils February 7, 2015 leafs oil February 2, 2015 tgsSJ1tgssharks2 January 31, 2015 tgsflames2-1tgsflames2-2 This also happened refref2 January 20, 2015 tgscapstgscaps2 January 15, 2015 (thanks again to Jeanshorts) tgsLightning January 13, 2015 (thanks to JSBM Jeanshorts) tgsblues(This did not result in a goal, but like come on!) December 31, 2014 tgsflames tgsflames2 tgsflames3 December 27, 2014 tgs1cal tgs2cal tgs2cal2 December 16, 2014 tgs2TGSphx December 7, 2014 (They actually won this game!) B4Tgki7CQAAQDnj November 21, 2014 (Did not lead to a goal, but still holy crap!) November 19, 2014 Embedded image permalink Embedded image permalink Embedded image permalink November 4, 2014 Embedded image permalink November 1, 2014 B1aYJVeCYAA3gl8 October 15, 2014 Embedded image permalinkEmbedded image permalink October 14, 2014 October 11, 2014 B0MwJXxCMAAHNv0 October 9, 2014 BzjzRbiCYAEyu2R October 2nd, 2014 BzB5Y2ICEAAw9sZ And for lolz, other terrible defence

I’m back!

technical-difficulties

Did you miss me? I hope so. After some technical difficulties I’m back.

QUICK OPINIONS

NFL – I don’t have a weekly opinion besides that Trent Richardson is just another trash Alabama running back who can’t cut it in the NFL. Gets up to the line… dances for 5 seconds and gets tackled. Indy is gonna regret this trade. Browns 3-0 since the trade! And since my Bucaneers are awful, go Browns!!

valve-steam

The Steam announcements

SteamOS – another point for Linux as Valve moves away from Microsoft. Curious to see where this will take the games library in a few years. Sony and Steam seem to be on board with eachother though so you might find PS4 games making their way onto this OS.

Steam Machine – I have a gaming PC but this could serve as a good “everything” box for people that like consoles. If there is a way to sync it with my PC and stream from it and I can play games in 1080p on my couch… well I may have to change my mind.

Steam Controller – The controller especially looks like nothing but a shooter controller. Granted I havent had a hands on but overall a resounding “meh”.  The big thing with PC games is key bindings. This controller appears to lack that. And honestly, I have no idea exactly how it works.

steam-controller

NHL – Everyone, sit down and take a deep breath. It is the first weekend of the season. No reason to panic. Unless you’re the Flyers (then its always time for panic). Dear Edmonton fans, I listen to you on the radio every morning. You’re great, but Devan Dubnyk is a good goaltender. He’s in the same range of starting goaltenders that has Corey Crawford and Jaroslav Halak.  Anything from 8-18 in the NHL is interchangeable. Maybe the team sucks because the defence is awful and the forwards don’t know what to do defensively? I think that is why.

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I’ll have a new social media post up tomorrow or Wednesday, then another on Sunday or Monday and eventually a post about LinkedIn.