Top 5 Best Video Games of 2014

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These were the games that I loved the most. Mainly PC.

HM. Five Nights at Freddies – This game is a better laxative than anything you can get at the pharmacy. I didn’t quite understand the mechanics my first time playing it, and when I failed I shrieked like one of the test subjects from that old Dead Space commercial. Still haven’t beat this game yet. Can’t get passed night 4.

HM. The Wolf Among Us – I love whodunnits. This was a good whodunnit with TellTale doing their thing in a really interesting universe. I couldn’t get enough after episode one but managed to make myself wait until they’d finally released all the episodes to play it in succession. I want to go back and play so badly now that I’m writing this.

5. Wolfenstein: The New Order – Awesome awesome awesome. It was such a nice break from games that force you to brain-think about morals. 90% of games now feel like they’re going for “shades of grey”. No grey here. You’re the hero. Fight the bad guy. At one point I was dual wielding laser sniper rifles on the moon shooting Nazi zombie robots. THIS. IS. VIDEO GAMES!

4. South Park: The Stick of Truth – A surprisingly strong RPG with neat combat, awesome humour and a fun story mode. A little bummed we never got  DLC pack at the mall. Still though, this game was worth the money. I really enjoyed how it just simplified things in a early Final Fantasy style and the town is surprisingly large with a lot of areas, collectibles and Canada!

3. Mario Kart 8 – The only racing game franchise that is actually fun where you feel like you can actually make up position when you get behind. Plus all the different weight classes and vehicle types. Roy’s my boy! Also great for drinking games.

1b. Middle Earth: Shadow of Mordor – This was like 5% Assassins Creed, 95% Batman. But better than many of the recent installments, I’ve played, of either. The combat was so much freaking fun! To see blood and limbs and heads fly when you finish someone off that really makes an impact compared to breaking legs or leaving baby stab wounds. Also, the nemesis system was so fun and added so much to the game.

1a. Dragon Age: Inquisition – As much as I did tear a strip off this game, I still had a ton of fun over such a long period playing this game this year. The world is big and beautiful. The characters are probably DA’s best cast. I enjoyed the combat and crafting and leveling system. The story was kinda… “lost” but that happens in open world games. Just look at Fallout/Skyrim. Whats the story? I played a lot of Fallout 3 and New Vegas and still only kinda know. The controls need work on PC, but I still made them work quite easily as I’m not a crybaby.

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Top 5 Anticipated Video Games of 2015

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These are the games giving me gamer wood for the next 12 months.

HM. Mirrors Edge 2 – I just hope EA doesn’t have it go all GUNS GUNS and just keeps it to the first game but just newer and better.

5. Witcher 3: Wild Hunt – Curious to see how this turns out. I really do wonder if they are in above their heads. I liked Witcher 2 but I wasn’t quite blown away by it. I’m really beginning to tire of “shades of grey” decision-making in games. Not everyone can do it like TellTale. But this will be my 2015 time-sink RPG the same way Dragon Age: Inquisition was.

4. Rise of the Tomb Raider – The first game was fun. I hope this one is more fun. I liked how in Tomb Raider Lara wasn’t already asskicker 3000 but you had to build her up to it. It controlled well and the puzzles were fun. More of that with a better, or at least less predictable, story and I’ll be very happy.

3. Kingdom Hearts 3 – Kingdom Hearts is just plain fun. I used to play KH2 with my ex-girlfriend and it was just plain fun. Swimming around with Ariel and Goofy. I’m PUMPED to see what the Marvel Universe world and Star Wars world bring to this game. Even curious about Tangled/Frozen/Big Hero 6. Fun must be always!

2. Arkham Knight – Batman is awesome. The Batman games are pretty good. I loved Asylum. Loved parts of City and Origins. As much as I’m put off by the Bat-Tank, I still can’t wait to break legs and hang baddies upside down. I love the combat so much. If they can take some of what works from Shadow of Mordor and incorporate it back into this game… holy moly! My pants are tight…

1. Mortal Kombat X – I am buying a PS4 just for this game. I can’t wait to rip people into small pieces. I love Mortal Kombat so much. Can’t wait to see where the story goes. Sub Zero 4 lyfe! Scorpion blows.

Top 5 Totally Fine-Whatever Movies of 2014

These are my “See them if you want I guess. You probably won’t hate yourself and might even enjoy yourself” movies of 2014.


HM. Intersellar 
– I didn’t know where else to put this, but it was the worst-best movie of the year. Its good, but it never quite reaches that level of “HOLY MOLY!” that I they were definitely targeting and I really feel it suffers from that. Its 2 hours of science mumbo jumbo that is interesting even as it wanes, then like an hour of Star Trek. Also, 3 hours long basically. What happened to good old 2 hour run times? Still good, but just not great and I wanted great.


5. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 
– Scores here because its more bad movie then good movie. Could easily be on the bad list but… Ninja Turtles man! Like yeah, Michelangelo is a creep but Raphael is a badass. You can tell it was chock full of reshoots. There is too much Megan Fox but… Ninja Turtles man! There’s just enough of the spirit in there.


4. Robocop 
– As far as 2014-ing a movie goes, I thought they did a really good job. You can’t have a guy get shot to shit no more or you get an R rating and end up like Dredd – great movie, but no one saw it because of the R rating. It wasn’t great, but it was good. If you want to watch a neat robo-CGI action movie go grab this instead of Transformers.


3. Hercules 
– This is the perfect The Rock movie. If you want to watch like 90 minutes of The Rock being jacked and fighting with a club(!) against other dudes, you can’t go wrong. Interesting twist on Greek mythology too. Great bro movie. Great popcorn movie. Kinda forgettable but thats just what it is.


2. Live.Die.Repeat (Edge of Tomorrow) 
– It’s actually really good and Emily Blunt does well. Its a good movie. Strong action. Strong story. Interesting. I’m serious. But… Tom Cruise. I have issues with Tom Cruise, same I have with DiCaprio and Depp, that I don’t see the character, I just see the actor playing dress up or doing an accent.


1. The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies 
– This is the single most “meh” movie I’ve ever seen. I only went because I saw the last two. The Hobbit movies are to the Lord of the Rings movies as kissing a blow-up doll is to kissing the love of your life. Martin Freeman is good and the book elements are good. The fan fiction of the series drives me nuts. I’m excited for the fan edit of all 3 movies thats like 3.5 hours and really good.

Top 5 Disappointing Video Games of 2014

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These were the games that I was interested in buying a new console for, but then just sucked and helped save me like $400+. I guess thanks is in order…

HM. WWE2K15 – It has nothing going for it. Bare bones and the character models still don’t look better than Smackdown vs Raw: 2009. I’d have it higher if it was a yearly purchase for me, but the WWE games are only ever-other-year purchases for me.

5. Murdered: Soul Suspect – Really cool concepts and the story is actually pretty interesting at the fringes. But the main character is boring and I can’t describe him with actual characteristics. He’s cop-man-ghost. But it did have some pretty neat stuff like the lady who was crazy but only because it was how her ghost sister could save her life by invading her brain. Gameplay got boring after like hour 6 of “go here, look at thing, go here, fetch quest”. The game ends with a whimper after starting off pretty darn well.

4. Transformers: Rise of the Dark Spark – I quite enjoyed the previous Transformer games. They were fun. This one just totally whiffs. I don’t know what happened, but all the fun got lost.

3. NHL 15 – I don’t own it, but a friend does. I’ve played it a fair bit when I go to friends houses and play games while waiting to go drink, or when getting back from drinking. What a pile of trash. It basically has no modes and no ancillary features at launch. Also, the wind physics are a little nuts. I feel like the players are in a hair commercial at times because their sweaters are going nuts when they’re totally still.

2. Watch Dogs – There is a good foundation here for Ubisoft to improve on. The hacking is fun but it just kinda turns into GTA-but-not-as-good-as-GTA and the protagonist, whose name I forget – talk about memorable, was super bland. I couldn’t really describe him using anything besides physical features, which is an indictment of their ability to make me care. “He wears a trench coat and a hat.” Also, it’s a giant piece of shit on PC.

1. Destiny – This game is just boring. Thought it’d be the multiplayer game that’d make me buy a console. It controls well, but I never got the “itch” to keep playing. Played about 6-8 hours on my friend’s account and it was a pretty forgettable 8-9 hours. I was never a huge Halo fan, but I couldn’t deny the “woo!” you got from it. Destiny is just grindy, bland and the loot system BLOWS! Plus all that stuff about how the story was basically stripped out and placed in codexes you can only view ON THE INTERNET NOT EVEN IN GAME. Blech.

Summer Movie Reviews: Now with 400% More Turtles

– Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2/5

Well, it wasn’t bad. Not like bad “I hate my life. Why did I see this?” bad. It wasn’t great, not really good either. It was acceptable, but cheesier than a 99 cheese pizza.

I got sweet 3D glasses that look like Raph’s mask. I groaned less than I did during Transformers.

By the numbers story. Its the whole villain has the McGuffin gas and is going to infect the city plot. Its not exactly ambitious.

The turtles themselves were handled/designed relatively well. Instead of just 4 clones with different colours they were actually pretty distinct. Didn’t mind the noses. I liked the focus on Raphael because he’s totally the coolest and the best. Continue reading