Summer Movie Reviews: Now With 100% More Terrible August Movies

Shaun The Sheep 4/5

This was a lot of fun. Its definitely aimed for kids but can be enjoyed by all ages. There isn’t one line of dialogue in the film but you know exactly what is happening at all times. Great music and sound effects. Its funny and charming and good. Sheep do good!

Hitman: Agent 47 1.5/5

More like Shitman.

This movie personifies why video game movies are bad. Because the person making the film has no idea what makes the game itself good. They just think “Video games means explosions and nonsense action and ridiculous fights” where it doesn’t always mean that.

Hitman is a game about strategy and being methodical. It’s like Jason Bourne when he’s doing his infiltrating and not fighting. This movie is a CGI turd.

American Ultra 2/5

It wasn’t that it was terrible. Just that it wasn’t good. It has nothing to do with “being an original idea” or whatever whiny excuse you have, because it isn’t original.

Its just lame. The tone is weird and the way some characters are written don’t make a lick of sense at times. Some movies get away with that because there is enough charisma and charm to make up for it. This doesn’t have that.

We Are Your Friends 2/5

Emily Ratajkowski is gorgeous.

As for the movie, it is Entourage but not as charming or good or interesting.

Group of friends want to become each their own part of a touring DJ thing. Stage manager, booking manager, DJ, etc. and then they meet a girl as they go around performing.

I got the feeling this was written a few years ago when EDM was really trending up and they were just late to getting this out. It probably would have done better then.

Transporter: Re-fueled 1.5/5

Any movie that has the sub-title of “Re-” anything is terrible. Reloaded, refueled, revenge, retribution, recharged, etc. Terrible.

It isn’t even a dumb action movie you can enjoy for being dumb. Its just another film with noise and crap flying everywhere and poor pacing.

Never thought I’d find myself saying “Gee I sure miss Jason Statham!”


To come this summer/year for shizzle:

  • James Bond: Spectre, November 6
  • The Peanuts Movie, November 6
  • Star Wars: The Force Awakens, December 18

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