SUMMER MOVIE REVIEWS: NOW WITH 100% MORE DINOSAURS

Jurassic World 4/5

Dinosaurs are cool. /end

The movie is really good. It is a very worthy sequel and its just a whole lot of fun to watch. The movie serves as far more of a sequel to Jurassic Park and kind of ignores 2 and 3, as it should.

I was quite skeptical going in because I expected all sorts of stupid turns (Chris Pratt riding a raptor, Chris Pratt hero-man kills evil dino, Chris Pratt becomes half dino to defeat the evil dino) and none of them happened!

It is a great monster movie. There is suspense, it is thrilling, a little bit scary, strong pacing and lots of people got punked by dinosaurs.

Chris Pratt as the raptor whisperer was not nearly as silly as I thought. It was actually really smart, well done and almost touching.

There were a few scenes that had set ups or payoffs that never quite came back around which makes me figure some bits were cut but it doesn’t really affect the movie as a whole.

Social commentary, eh. Man is not meant to mettle, animals aren’t people, “bio” weapons, etc. Meh. That stuff serves well to make some characters you do not like, and give other characters enough reasons to hate their guts.

It even gets a bit meta with the whole “Dinosaurs aren’t as wow as they used to be so we gotta raise the stakes” like as to say “You’ve all seen Jurassic Park and were like ‘meh’ at dinosaurs in JP2 so now we’re doing mini-Godzilla”.

It would have been awesome to have Jeff Goldblum come back and go “God dammit, guys. What did I tell you!” The only returning character was the Asian geneticist.

Holy crap, that end scene was amazing. BAM! POW! BANG! ❤

As I was walking out of the theatre, all I heard was “Wow, that was good!”, “Dinosaurs are cool”, “I really enjoyed that”, etc.

Unless you’re some kind of horrible purist, you’ll like the movie.

Other reviews

Previously:

To come this summer/year:

  • Antman, July 17
  • Fantastic Four, August 7
  • Hitman: Agent 47, August 28
  • Star Wars: The Force Awakens, December 18

Maybe to come this summer/year:

  • Ted 2, June 26
  • Terminator: Genysis, July 1
  • Minions, July 10
  • Pixels, July 24
  • Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation, July 31
  • Goosebumps, October 16

Summer Movie Reviews: Now With 100% More HBO Bros

Entourage 3/5

The best way to describe this movie is that it is like four episodes of the show back-to-back-to-back-to-back. If you like the show, you’ll like this.

The story is kind of irrelevant because it is more about the shenanigans of the bros. Each guy has their own little sub plot and it gets resolved. Jeremy Piven is the best. The chemistry is still so great amongst the guys.

If you don’t know the show, you’ll probably still enjoy this movie. I was never a huge show fan, but I still watched it and enjoyed it. There is more cameos and nods to old episodes than I can list, but they don’t feel out of place in a movie that is set like this.

I do not know if people that weren’t show fans will be movie fans, but if you are then you’re doing yourself a disservice by not going back to the old show.

I’m not going to get into spoilers because spoilers is mainly the jokes and shenanigans which range from amusing-put-a-smile-on-your-face to laugh out loud.

Psst, there is lots of man-candy and lady-candy!

Other reviews

Previously:

To come this summer/year:

  • San Andreas, May 29
  • Jurassic World, June 12
  • Antman, July 17
  • Fantastic Four, August 7
  • Hitman: Agent 47, August 28
  • Star Wars: The Force Awakens, December 18

Maybe to come this summer/year:

  • Ted 2, June 26
  • Terminator: Genysis, July 1
  • Pixels, July 24
  • Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation, July 31
  • Goosebumps, October 16
  • Jen and the Holograms, October 23

Summer Movie Reviews: Now With 100% More The Rock

San Andreas 3/5

Can you smell what The Rock is cooking? And that is like the perfect Rock action disaster movie. It is a lot like Hercules in that it is what it is. It is a The Rock action-disaster movie. No more, no less. That is honestly the best descriptor.

Tons of action. Tons of destruction. (But it isn’t hopeless destruction porn, Zack Snyder)

The rock flies helicopters, drives trucks and saves lives! Alexandra Daddario is his beautiful daughter. Paul Giamatti is corny.

The premise is a little dated. If this came out in like the 90’s then it would have been right up there with Independence Day and whatever else. ‘Merica.

Tons of one-liners and by-the-numbers tropes, but its still fun. It is exactly what I thought it would be. A fun, dopey action movie with an action star with action.

The Rock was surprisingly good at doing the dramatic bits. The acting in the movie is quite good. The dialogue is a little silly at times, but the delivery makes up for it so it is more believable.

The difference between this movie and something kind of similar in terms of CGI and “noise” in Transformers 4 is that it isn’t 3 hours long and you can still understand and process what is happening on screen. Your eyes don’t get tired of CG like in Transformers. It isn’t the artsiest thing, but its still well crafted.

My friend said the words “That wasn’t realistic” well no kidding. It was a almost a little Fast and Furious style. Its fun, self aware and silly.

I think you’ll know if you are going to like this movie before you even enter the theater.

It goes great with popcorn.

Other reviews

Previously:

To come this summer/year:

  • Jurassic World, June 12
  • Antman, July 17
  • Fantastic Four, August 7
  • Hitman: Agent 47, August 28
  • Star Wars: The Force Awakens, December 18

Maybe to come this summer/year:

  • Ted 2, June 26
  • Terminator: Genysis, July 1
  • Pixels, July 24
  • Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation, July 31
  • Goosebumps, October 16
  • Jen and the Holograms, October 23