Ranking The Modern DC Movies, The Good 6-1

6. Batman

This movie is just that. A movie. It is called “Batman” but it really is not Batman. It gets a whole lot wrong. Like the Joker just being Jack Napier but extra goofy. Telling the whole proper origin story of the Joker, which is a no-no. One of the greatest parts of the Joker is that you don’t know. You fear and are scared of the unknown. Batman not really trying to save anyone. Killing the Joker. I also can’t buy Michael Keaton as Bruce Wayne. He has glasses, he is not really fit, and he isn’t charismatic. I think he’s there because Tim Burton had a man crush on Keaton before he moved on to man-crushing over Johnny Depp, who probably would have been Batman if this movie was like a few years later.

5. The Dark Knight Rises

This, again, is not really a Batman movie. It has the license to Batman and lots of Batman stuff, but it is not Batman. Mainly because Bane. Bane is a Mexican wrestler crimelord type who takes super steroids to get super jacked and then breaks Batman’s back. The only thing that is Bane in this movie is the back-breaker scene. The character is way more Anarky, who is most recently a scrawny kid that wears a mask and wants Nihilist anarchism. Most of the rest of the movie is fine, but it falls apart when you think about it a bit too much.

4. Watchmen

Put me firmly in the camp of “Enjoyed Watchmen” because I did. Its quite faithful to the comic graphic novel, because this is a little bit too adult for comics, and it has some very visceral and memorable scenes.

3. Batman Returns

This is by the far best of the old timey Batman movies, and it was also the first film that felt like a Batman movie. All the weird non-Batman things from the first film are more or less gone. Its great when Batman has a villain that he can’t just punch a bunch. The Penguin is one of my favourite villains because he’s basically the anti-Batman. He’s rich, but from crime. He owns lotsa stuff, but its all seedy. He is short and chubby and ugly while Bruce Wayne is suave and tall and handsome. It makes such a good dynamic and its just perfectly hit. Plus, Michelle Pfeiffer, holy moly.

2. The Dark Knight

The Joker, yes great. Two-face, yes great. The Batman-ing, yes great. Pretty much all great. I have two gripes though, 1) Lucious sells out Bruce Wayne as Joker when the nerdy guy was just like “You probs know who Batman is!” 2) I’m just bugged by the ending. Batman kills Harvey Dent by tackling him off the building and then instead of saying “Blame the dead cops on the Joker because that would be easy” he says “Blame the dead cops on me so I can disappear for 8 years to set up my return in the third film.” I’m also bothered by the “Jim Gordon is dead. No he isn’t” as I felt it cheapens the other character deaths in the movie in a “Are they really dead?” kind of way.

1. Batman Begins

I feel this is the best Batman movie of the bunch. I really liked the origin, you see Batman beat up street level criminals, there was bat-tech, he uses batarangs, Batman does great Batman style stealth takedowns, Alfred is played perfectly, and its deliciously comic booky with a microwave device (that conveniently doesn’t have an off button) and evil ninjas that want to destroy the city. It also gets better into the moral side of Batman than the other films. The end with “I’m not going to kill you, but I’m not going to save you” is a really big thing for Batman as a character.


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