Rant on DC Comics and Their Movies

DC Comics, while you stumble around as misguided as you possible can be, I want you to listen to me. I want you to digest this, because before I go see your films over the next little while, with free movie passes so you don’t steal anymore of my money, I have a lot of things I want to get off my chest.

What are you doing? Do you know? Honestly. I’m not being facetious. What is your plan? Zack Snyder isn’t Joss Whedon with Kevin Feige holding his hand.

I’m going to tell you what to do. This will be the way to least piss me off with your plans. I love your animated movies. I love your TV shows.

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For Supes 2 V Batsy: Meet the JL, make this movie primarily Supes v Lex Luthor. That is one of the most interesting power struggles in comics – Lex’s ability to have total control over everything but Superman. Lex can start as the face here. Everyone is mad pissed at Supes destroying like the entire State. Lex, the ultimate control freak, comes in and rallies the world against Supes. Batsy even is on Lex’s side before figuring the ish out. Great double turn and Supes doesn’t have to be a crybaby jerk.

Wonder Woman. You have the perfect WW in your 2009 animated film. Unlike Superman, she doesn’t have to come to earth. She can come to earth because she sees a world that needs help. Thats her motivation. She isn’t forced/thrust into hero-dom like Superman or Batman or the others. Make it her choice. Original idea. Boom. You owe me.

Aquaman is a total badass. He has a bad publicist. Guess who his publicist is? You, DC! YOU! Make him a dude who just loves fighting and stuff, Brave and the Bold style. Don’t treat one of your characters like a joke and the fans won’t either.

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Your unnanounced Batman movie. I don’t know what to do here. I was unhappy with The Dark Knight Rises because that wasn’t Bane. That was some fan-fiction. You have the greatest pool of villains in comics. You don’t need to bastardize them to fit a story that is crap. I’d love to see Riddler. Focus on the brains side of Batman. The psychology. Not just punch-kick.

Don’t write off the Green Lantern movie with Ryan Reynolds. Just Incredible Hulk it. Sick of origin stories.

The Flash. My favourite DC hero. He can be a little hard for a movie. His flagship villain is his mirror-villain, to me, and your mileage may vary there in film one. The CW TV show is doing such a great job as well, you’re digging yourself a hole. Cold is probably you’re best bet as cold is the anti-energy and one of the few things that can stop the Flash. If you make him a pouty-puss, I quit.

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Shazam is another great character being sewered by bad decision making. You screwed him up when you decided that his villain, Black Adam, is more interesting than he is. A kid that becomes Lightning-Superman should be interesting. There is a lot to work with. Focus on the character and not the character crying.

Cyborg isn’t a pouty puss. He’s a boy scout, but he’s not another brooder. He’s a human robot with basically unlimited tech abilities. He puts Iron Man to shame.

As for characters I want to see that are unannounced, Green Arrow. He’s a great foil for Bats. A lot of people argue that Bats is the “normal guy” of the JL. Nah, he’s like 99% flawless. He doesn’t screw up a lot. Green Arrow screws up his relationships and actions all the time. Way more like a normal person.

And please get into Captain Atom and Martian Manhunter. Those guys are super cool. So is Dr Fate.

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I just don’t know how they’re going to do so many “origins” in Dawn of Justice. I hope they’re just quick cuts like “hey this universe is way bigger than we thought” or something.

Worry about keeping your own world in check before you worry about catching up with Marvel Studios. That sunk Spiderman. I can’t handle more of my heros being ruined.

Please.

Don’t even get me started on the choice not to link TV and Film universes. Writing in simple stuff like “Oh, its terrible what happened to the Queens” at one of Batman’s rich guy galas or “Did you hear about S.T.A.R. Labs in Central City?” is easy peasy lemon squeezy! Thats all I want. Also, your small screen is better than big screen so like… leverage your strengths.

Top 5 Best Video Games of 2014

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These were the games that I loved the most. Mainly PC.

HM. Five Nights at Freddies – This game is a better laxative than anything you can get at the pharmacy. I didn’t quite understand the mechanics my first time playing it, and when I failed I shrieked like one of the test subjects from that old Dead Space commercial. Still haven’t beat this game yet. Can’t get passed night 4.

HM. The Wolf Among Us – I love whodunnits. This was a good whodunnit with TellTale doing their thing in a really interesting universe. I couldn’t get enough after episode one but managed to make myself wait until they’d finally released all the episodes to play it in succession. I want to go back and play so badly now that I’m writing this.

5. Wolfenstein: The New Order – Awesome awesome awesome. It was such a nice break from games that force you to brain-think about morals. 90% of games now feel like they’re going for “shades of grey”. No grey here. You’re the hero. Fight the bad guy. At one point I was dual wielding laser sniper rifles on the moon shooting Nazi zombie robots. THIS. IS. VIDEO GAMES!

4. South Park: The Stick of Truth – A surprisingly strong RPG with neat combat, awesome humour and a fun story mode. A little bummed we never got  DLC pack at the mall. Still though, this game was worth the money. I really enjoyed how it just simplified things in a early Final Fantasy style and the town is surprisingly large with a lot of areas, collectibles and Canada!

3. Mario Kart 8 – The only racing game franchise that is actually fun where you feel like you can actually make up position when you get behind. Plus all the different weight classes and vehicle types. Roy’s my boy! Also great for drinking games.

1b. Middle Earth: Shadow of Mordor – This was like 5% Assassins Creed, 95% Batman. But better than many of the recent installments, I’ve played, of either. The combat was so much freaking fun! To see blood and limbs and heads fly when you finish someone off that really makes an impact compared to breaking legs or leaving baby stab wounds. Also, the nemesis system was so fun and added so much to the game.

1a. Dragon Age: Inquisition – As much as I did tear a strip off this game, I still had a ton of fun over such a long period playing this game this year. The world is big and beautiful. The characters are probably DA’s best cast. I enjoyed the combat and crafting and leveling system. The story was kinda… “lost” but that happens in open world games. Just look at Fallout/Skyrim. Whats the story? I played a lot of Fallout 3 and New Vegas and still only kinda know. The controls need work on PC, but I still made them work quite easily as I’m not a crybaby.