Top 5 Totally Fine-Whatever Movies of 2014

These are my “See them if you want I guess. You probably won’t hate yourself and might even enjoy yourself” movies of 2014.

HM. Intersellar – I didn’t know where else to put this, but it was the worst-best movie of the year. Its good, but it never quite reaches that level of “HOLY MOLY!” that I they were definitely targeting and I really feel it suffers from that. Its 2 hours of science mumbo jumbo that is interesting even as it wanes, then like an hour of Star Trek. Also, 3 hours long basically. What happened to good old 2 hour run times? Still good, but just not great and I wanted great.

5. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles – Scores here because its more bad movie then good movie. Could easily be on the bad list but… Ninja Turtles man! Like yeah, Michelangelo is a creep but Raphael is a badass. You can tell it was chock full of reshoots. There is too much Megan Fox but… Ninja Turtles man! There’s just enough of the spirit in there.

4. Robocop – As far as 2014-ing a movie goes, I thought they did a really good job. You can’t have a guy get shot to shit no more or you get an R rating and end up like Dredd – great movie, but no one saw it because of the R rating. It wasn’t great, but it was good. If you want to watch a neat robo-CGI action movie go grab this instead of Transformers.

3. Hercules – This is the perfect The Rock movie. If you want to watch like 90 minutes of The Rock being jacked and fighting with a club(!) against other dudes, you can’t go wrong. Interesting twist on Greek mythology too. Great bro movie. Great popcorn movie. Kinda forgettable but thats just what it is.

2. Live.Die.Repeat (Edge of Tomorrow) – It’s actually really good and Emily Blunt does well. Its a good movie. Strong action. Strong story. Interesting. I’m serious. But… Tom Cruise. I have issues with Tom Cruise, same I have with DiCaprio and Depp, that I don’t see the character, I just see the actor playing dress up or doing an accent.

1. The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies – This is the single most “meh” movie I’ve ever seen. I only went because I saw the last two. The Hobbit movies are to the Lord of the Rings movies as kissing a blow-up doll is to kissing the love of your life. Martin Freeman is good and the book elements are good. The fan fiction of the series drives me nuts. I’m excited for the fan edit of all 3 movies thats like 3.5 hours and really good.