Summer Movie Reviews: Now with 100% More Dick Messages

– Guardians of the Galaxy 4/5

I really do love Marvel Studios. They are just really good and being good at making good movies. One of the best executed things too is that if you were unaware of this as a Marvel property, you wouldn’t know – save for like 2 itsy bitsy Avengers/Thor: The Dark World hints. Its very accessible. It as easy to understand  for comic nerds and regular mutants alike.

Its going to be silly, its going to be convenient, but its going to be fun. The music is perfect.

I like being able to go into a comic book movie and not really know how its going to go. I’ve read enough/seen enough cartoons to know a lot of the story in things like Cap and Spiderman.

Everyone in the movie does a good job at doing their own thing. I struggle with isolating anyone as a standout performer and not by anyone’s fault, but because everyone hits their notes.

• Pratt is basically Han Solo mixed with the gopher from Caddyshack.
• Zoe Saldana and Dave Bautista both do well as 2 different species of green sorta psychos. Saldana is just so freaking gorgeous and does the femme fatale thing very well, while Batista as Drax committed such a huge face turn the WWE should take notes.
• Whoever wrote Groot deserves equal praise to whoever animated him.
• The “weak” link for me was Bradley Cooper as Rocket Racoon. Not because he was bad, but I had heard so much hype before hand that I was expecting a show stealing performance.

The plot actually quite standard at this point which is almost disappointing, but necessary*, and it’s executed well. Baddy wants the McGuffin because he’s evil and wants to kaboom everything for his evil boner. An underdog story in a different style of underdog story.

As far as Marvel villains, Ronan falls much much closer to the Loki of end good, versus the lame end with Malekith. He plays it straight and it works real well in this setting.

There is a lot of feels too. Be prepared to have your feels felt up.

Lets sum it up this way: This movie has made me pre-hyped for the Avengers 3: Thanos’ Glove Boner/ Avengers+Guardians team up. And we won’t be seeing that until 2018. Give me Nova.

*SPOILERS- Highlight to see* Marvel is setting up for Thanos and the Infinity Gauntlet, which needs 6 Infinity stones to give him literally all the power ever. Tesseract (Avengers) and Ether (Thor: The Dark World) are two of the “stones” or powers the stone represents. Its theorized that Extremis (Iron Man 3) is another. Putting that together with the purple one in this movie and we’re at 4 of 6. 

Other reviews:

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2/5
Dawn of the Planet of the Apes 5/5
Transformers 4: Age of Extinction 2/5
A Million Ways to Die in the West 0/5
Godzilla 5/5
X-Men: Days of Future Past  4/5
The Amazing Spiderman 2 1/5
Trailer Park Boys: Don’t Legalize It 4/5
Captain America: The Winter Soldier 5/5
The Raid 3/5
Need for Speed 3/5
300: Rise of an Empire 3/5

To Come

– Hercules July 25
– Batman: Assault on Arkham (DVD) August 12
– The Expendables 3 August 15
– Sin City: A Dame to Kill For August 22