Most of you ladies are awful at Tinder. Just awful. You’re embarrassments. The app is Hot or Not. The goal is to be hot. What is so difficult to understand?
Tip 1. Three or more pictures. You’re telling me you don’t have more than two pictures in which you look presentable? Besides, I already know by picture two whether I’m tapping the heart, but I like treating my eyes to pretty girls as long as possible.
Tip 2. Don’t waste picture space or my time on your kids, car, pets, snowmobile, monuments, nails etc. I don’t care. I really don’t. At least include yourself. I still won’t care then though.
Tip 3. Do not upload pics of you with your hotter friends. Especially in slot one or two. You could totally be a yes but I get my hopes up for hot friend and not you, even if you’d normally be a yes. You’re only hurting yourself.
Tip 4. Have a blurb. I don’t care about your Instagram. But it gives me something to start the conversation with because I’m smart and witty.
Tip 5. Don’t be the “lol this app is so dumb and hilars” girl or the “lol i hav a boyf” girl. You’re an attention whore. Part of me enjoys your insecurity because you’re probably really easy, but another part of me is put off by it. I am on the fence here.
Tip 6. Be interesting when messaged. You liked me for a reason. I like me too, and I decided to like you. But I have other matches I can be busy with. Don’t waste my time.
Tip 7. You have four pictures of you and the same friends so I don’t know who you are? “Girl bye”